Dads react to daughters getting catcalled


#1

[Read the post]


#2

I wonder if you’d asked any of the dads if they’d admit it if they’d at some point in the past done the same?


#3

As interesting as this is and as educational as it might be for the fathers. It really reminds me of of the more biblical rules for the treatment of women where any wrong against her is really a crime against her father or husband. Where the man should go beat up the other man for the sake of how he was disrespected.

I might find it more interesting if sons watched videos of this happening to their mothers.


#4

Agreed… I think it would be nice to see this from the other side, but doesn’t that also get to the fact that sons (biblically) eventually become the mother’s caretakers?


#5

This isn’t just the norm in the Big Apple. I live in the “Little Apple” (Manhattan, KS), I’m petite and in my 40’s - I’ve had catcalls in public, on campus (“You sure do make for a nice view in that flowerbed!”), in the presence of my 5yo son (“YOU gotta BABY?!! Damn, girl!”). It doesn’t matter where you live or how you look (“Smile, girl!”).
The fucked up thing is that nobody around says, “That’s fucked up, asshole! Don’t you have a mom? Would you say that or want it said to your mom?” Instead, we have to demurely endure so as not to raise some freak’s ire.


#6

Agreed, the point here seems to be that men need to be educated about how the women they love are treated when they aren’t around.

Ideally they would find some of these cat callers and show them a variety of women in their lives.


#7

Yep. I was totally oblivious to it until my wife told me how often it happened to her.

Ditto the sexual harassment she suffered at work.


#8

While I have called out my friends when they were being assholes there’s a difficult dilemma faced by those of us who dislike the way our fellow Y-chromosomes sometimes behave when it’s happening between strangers. There’s the small–and I have no way of knowing how small it is but assume it’s really small–possibility that the woman in question appreciates the attention. And then there’s the thought that the last thing a woman in that situation needs or wants is some other asshole swooping in to “save” her.

As a guy who’d like to put an end to that shit I get too wrapped up to know what to do.


#9

Are you implying by “admit” that all men, including the fathers of these women, have engaged in such behavior? Because I can tell you that I have never catcalled a woman ever, anywhere, at any time. In fact, I have never once seen a male friend or acquaintance catcall a woman in my presence.

Now, I understand that an anecdote about my life does not tell us anything about men generally, or the fathers of the women in the video. Nevertheless, I think it is an important counterpoint to the pervasive idea that catcalling is a common male behavior.

Having lived in NYC my entire life, I have seen other men engage in catcalling behavior towards women. At the risk of being labelled a racist (as if I give a fuck), the vast majority of the alleged “men” engaged in such behavior are either black or Hispanic, with the occasional blue-collar white dude thrown in. The linked video appears to bear out this trend.


#10

How do you know if you never do anything?

I don’t get catcalled nearly as much as I did 20 years ago (I’m aging into invisible hag territory and it’s blissful!) but I stop and stare when I see shit happening on the street. I’ve called the cops on drunk dudes fighting, asked girls if they were ok when they were being hassled, made eye contact with a lady as she steps around someone trying to grab her, because being a woman on the street is lonely, and just making eyecontact with someone, so that you know they saw it too, that at least one other person is aware is everything in that moment.

You don’t need to call them out and certainly don’t get in harms way, but something is always better than nothing.


#11

Or homosexually cat-call them, so they experience undesired sexual attention.


#12

No, I’m asking if they’d admit to it in front of their daughters if they HAD engaged in such behavior… The last dude didn’t seem to care until it was a black dude harassing his kid. Other wise, it was “a compliment”…


#13

Viciousry and villainy! #notallmen! Fistbump for the dudes here, amirite? These fucking non-dudes, talking shit about dudes gets me going, yeah?

This slander-ity must stop! Misandry! MISANDRY RUN AMOK FLEEK FOR YOUR LIVES

Well, you DGAF, so hey, great, that’s supportive. Are you basically saying the only dudes who do this, dude, are “black and Hispanic” dudes? So #notallwhitedudes?


#14

Isn’t it nice to have classy friends?


#15

Did I in fact say that? Try to read the actual words on the screen, jackass.


#16

There was actually a qualitative difference in behavior between the previous catcallers and the one at the end. The final catcaller was far more stalker-ish. The other fathers also got to see rather more crude remarks.

Maybe the last father was being racist. Maybe not.


#17

I keep forgetting that you don’t give a fuck (and you’re touchy, too!). Here’s what you wrote:

Always a great way to begin! But wait:

Noted.

So I’ll admit (if you’re reading this because you’re probably not since you don’t give a fuck) that I was hasty in my comment because you never said that white dudes don’t catcall…

But when they do (which is never, or at least utterly uncommon; really an insignificant data blip in the lifelong mathematic matrixy waterfall) it’s just a black/Hispanic dude doing it.
So I’m clarifying but if your fucks continue to be undistributed:
Catcalling done–95% uncommon.
Of the catcalling done–by men (99%), by women (1%)
Of those catcalls done by men–49.5% (“black”), 49.5% (“Hispanic”), 1% (“maybe white, most likely not white”)


#18

Sure, it could be that he was just reacting to the last dude’s more stalkerish treatment, it could be both… but either way, he doesn’t necessarily see all catcalling as problematic, just the most egregious cases. Hence my question about whether he or the other dads would admit to also catcalling on the street.


#19

He wrote nothing?


#20

Not all women in NYC see it as problematic either.

Granted my sample size is 1, but I asked a friend’s financee about her time living there, and she thought it was all pretty harmless, and how those men “showed respect”. (her words)

Personally, I don’t see any shows of respect on display, I see a lot of attempts at getting laid.