Date meat in interactive novel The Bacon Lettuce Biographies

Richard Eisenbeis reports on The Bacon Lettuce Biographies, a homoerotic game where one literally dates meat. "The most popular boy in the school is literally named “Beef” while the “childhood best friend” character is named “Tuna.” It is only in the special event pictures that you are able to see them in human form. Interestingly… READ THE REST

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I prefer the T-Rex dating sim.

he seems to like the meat dating game though.

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“I told you, we probed them. They’re meat all the way through.”

“No brain?”

“Oh, there’s a brain all right. It’s just that the brain is made out of meat! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

“So … what does the thinking?”

“You’re not understanding, are you? You’re refusing to deal with what I’m telling you. The brain does the thinking. The meat.”

“Thinking meat! You’re asking me to believe in thinking meat!”

“Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you beginning to get the picture or do I have to start all over?”

“Omigod. You’re serious then. They’re made out of meat.”


The game is insurmountable and unwinnable in any way whatsoever.

Turns out, ya just can’t beat the meat.

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