Check out the toothpaste.
Completely harmless unless you’re in California, right?
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That’s a good question. I have a relevant degree, and my consulting fee is 3 bottles. Plus 5 more for destructive sampling. 
ETA: and one more bottle to send to the lab.
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The trademarked clay and salt just make it perfect.
Well, if you’ve got 30 grand to drop on one, you can buy one of these:
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“Dry” = “no water,” not “no liquid.”
Dolemite is ridiculous fun. Definitely worth checking out. Don’t bother with its follow up, Petey Wheatstraw, though. Not sure how a movie about the kung-fu fighting son-in-law of the Devil himself, wielding a magic pimp cane, would be so dull, but it’s not that great.
And of course, if you haven’t seen Black Dynamite, it’s a wonderful homage to Dolemite (but with better fight choreography).
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MrsTobinL and I saw that at SIFF. I don’t think I have laughed so hard at movie in the theater since. Later in the same festival I went to a Korean horror film the presenter asked what was the best film so far. People were shouting Moon and something else that I can’t remember and I finally shouted out Black Dynamite to which the presenter then said ‘Okay the correct answer has been given you can see your movie now’.
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XRF machines are sweet, sweet, sweet!
Maybe it could be improvised with a gamma spectrometer with a suitable crystal, and a conventional xray tube. Would be likely not handheld but could fit a backpack with relative ease.
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There’s an Adult Swim animated Black Dynamite series now, too.
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I used to work in R&D for the company that invented the xrf model I linked
to (before Olympus bought them). I’m sure you could rig something up, make
sure it is well shielded etc. etc. But measuring ppm levels of anything
reliably is much harder in terms of both hardware and software.
Background/matrix subtraction, x-ray line overlap, and internal absorption
become tricky to calibrate.
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And absorption/reemission where the xray tube sends a photon, a heavy nucleus of a trace element absorbs it and reemits its characteristic photon, which then gets absorbed by a more plentiful atom of the main material and reemitted as its own signature… At the low concentrations it is certainly a can of worms.
I wonder how difficult would be to model such processes by math and derive the inverse relations needed to reconstruct the element concentrations from the xray spectrum…
Unfortunately I am not allowed to tell you the answer 
I will say it is much easier on a real computer than the way we did it,
calculating everything locally in real time on PDA hardware.
I think I saw that machine, or something very similar, also PDA-powered, couple years ago at an industrial fair here. I fell in love with the thing at an instant.
The old PDAs were rather anemic, computing power wise. Even a humble raspi of today has many times more horsepower, and would be my current choice for such machine’s core.
Would have to opensource the design and crowdsource at least some of the calculations, though.
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Google “xrf Sherman algorithm” and you’ll find most of what you need to get
started math-wise
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Major thanks!
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I immediately write off any heath claims once they start taking about toxins. What a catch all for bullshit.
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You’re missing out. It’s like the quintessential blaxploitation film. Unless you’re a completionist, skip Human Tornado (aka Dolemite 2). It’s nowhere near as entertaining.
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