Dick Dynasty deluxe Wild Dick Caller, as seen on TV


#1

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#2

Got wood?


#3

This explains a lot about his prior rantings, must be self loathing. Blowhard.


#4

wow-that's rather crass. I kind of expected more from you guys, regardless of how idiotic his behavior was


#5

Welcome to the internet! You might find that social norms here work a little differently than in the world with which you are more familiar. ;}


#6

some parts of the internet are more crass than others...i'd always seen this site as on a higher level of discourse. silly me.


#7

Gee I don't think it's nearly as crass as having that imitation hillbilly talk his ignorant trash about my life. He's an artificially created celebrity to who caters to the lowest common denominator and is given a national stage to act on. I think Dick Dynasty is pretty innocuous in comparison. Crass might be my description of where I'd like to stick that wooden dildo so old Phil could make some meaningful noise. But Hey that's just me, an old gay man who is fed up with holier-than-thou jerks.


#8

Gee, we've got an outspoken bigot who peddles historical revisionism about how African-Americans were happy under Jim Crow - and your response is to gay-bait and make fun of duck hunting? Well, that's really clever, isn't it?


#9

Fighting intolerant ignorance with more intolerant ignorance doesn't influence anyone, it's just unnecessary emotional attacking and adds to the tiresome noise. At the worst it can further push away someone who may be on the fence.

Of course if the artist wanted nothing more than to put a dick in Phil's mouth and piss off ignorant people, then the goal achieved.


#10

Gay people have been the target of ridicule, insults, and moral bashing in all forms of media for scores of years. This posturing bigot has made his fortune selling an item that would make Freud blush. Now with a bit of word play and suggestion the guy who makes the spoof is ignorant and not helpful to the cause? If people can't see the ironic fun of hoisting Mr. Robertson on his own Petard I suspect they were unlikely to come down in defense of gay people anyway. And if this makes anyone feel a bit uncomfortable when they look at their own duck call they can always rely on those little electronic recordings to beckon ducks to their doom.


#11

Wow, how crass and immature. Not like my Duck Dynasty homoerotic fan fiction, which is tasteful and thought-provoking.

Uncle Si leaned over the work table, tea-cup balanced in his delicate hands. "My god, Godwin, that's the biggest dang duck call I've ever seen. You gonna sell a million of those at the Wal-Mart™."

Godwin grinned, knowingly. "You should see it in action," he said, suggestively. Pursing his lips he grasped the tea-cup from Si's long, bony fingers. Running his tongue around the edge of the blue plastic cup he took a swig, keeping his eyes squarely on the older man watching him intently. "Mmmm... It's sweet. Just like you, Si." Si smiled and reached in his pocket. "I have a coupon for a free dinner for two at Cracker Barrel™, would you care to join me?" Godwin grinned. "We can eat at the Cracker Barrel™ any time. Right now I just want to eat ... You." Si reached for his belt. "Ok then."

...

Under Armour™ duds flung over a forklift; RealTree™ camo-clothes strewn among a spilled box of Massive Mallard Duck Calls™; Si and Godwin made passionate hard love like a pair of angry beavers in heat. Collapsing in a heap of sweat, grease and Jack-Link's™, they cuddled like a pair of tuckered out teddy bears. Si nuzzled Godwin's beard, whispering, "This was a good idear. But I hope my brother Phil doesn't find out. He thinks this sinful!" Godwin sneered "That old coot couldn't shoot his own ass with a Savage Arms™ shotgun. I wouldn't worry 'bout him." They closed their eyes, kissed, and fell asleep.

Unknown to them both, a pair of beady glowering eyes peered at them through a crack among the piles of the Duck Diggler Woodman MegaCall™ boxes. Phil was confused; upset... and most of all turned on.

More coming in part 2.


#12

Hmm... would this only work on gay ducks?


#13

And "they say" there's no evidence of time travelers on twitter.

"Bullshit," I say.

He may not be @darth, but @joeljohnson is totes time traveler.


#14

It's not always about trying to influence people to not be homophobes. Sometimes it's just about coping. Humor is a great coping mechanism.

I don't want to live my life in fighting mode all the time. I don't want to be an activist 24/7 because I'm gay. I don't want to have to carefully parse my words all the time lest I lose a "convert" and then be blamed for my own oppression. That's no way to live. I need to laugh sometimes.


#15

Wait, is he using it to call himself? Does that work?


#16

Progressives so love homophobic slurs against their ideological enemies. Why don't you just say "Duck Dynasty is 'gay', man."


#17

We have a winner today

âś” just signed up
âś” only post is smarmy passive-aggressive tone policing
âś” no discussion, no contribution

I'm in two minds about whether to just preemptively ban this sort of poster. Nothing major has been done wrong, but it's 100% certain every posting will be like this. What to do?


#18

The oppressor pandering to the lowest common denominator is distasteful.
The oppressed pandering to the lowest common denominator is OK, I'm learning.

Is it also common for gay people to redicule straight people as being closet gay? Is that some delicious form of self meta bigotry?

Anyway, enjoy your laugh, I don't care enough about this work to make a big deal about it. I do appreciate the dialog though!


#19

What to do?

A few suggestions from Google:

There's always the Magic 8-Ball, too.


#20

Now you're just trolling.