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Hay, have I not avoided jumping the shark yet?
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Do I have your addresses?
Are you secretly my wife, who made known her plans to visit any boulangerie that we might pass? Or come relatively close to?
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Does it count if my disobedience is just laughing at him in public?
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OhhhhhâŚI have now?
Perhaps I was trying to bring it up in this thread?
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Can you believe my ISP is currently running at Kb download speeds, and has been slower than 14.4 dialup for hours now? What on earth am I paying them for?
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Their amiable and informative customer service?
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Is that why the last two times I had to call AT&T customer service I got pleasant, helpful service? Are they worried theyâre not going to have a monopoly anymore?
How loudly can I scream HUZZAH in an empty house to show my eagerness for that potentiality?
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Will wonders never cease?
Hey, howâs the wrist going? Still immobilised?
Can I admit to some trepidation because thereâs every chance Iâll still need surgery, which will put functionality and recovery back even further into summer?
Should I let everyone know what the specialist says this Thursday, which is the most likely appointment at which Iâll be told âit wasnât enough, time for surgeryâ?
Are you pleased to know the following two weeks/appointments will be less worrisome, if I make it through this week?
Have I found it impossible to rest that arm, since everyone is gone and most things require at least some interaction with both hands? Donât I worry every time it hurts to do something? How is it possible to baby an arm 24/7?
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God yeah, isnât the process of finding ways to do everything with one hand just a total pain in the ass? Apart from the obvious, to which I just alluded, didnât I find tying my shoes the most super-annoying process?
But persevere, treat it like a piece of rice paper in a storm and keep it elevated, canât even the pain be a good sign of healing? I seem to remember the pain from just keeping my wrist immobile was almost as intense as the actual severed tendons in my hand, so donât let that get you down, itâs probably fixing itself according to plan. (?)
Thinking back, didnât I even resort to googling âhow to do X with one handâ a bunch? Isnât there a surprising number of articles and videos out there dedicated to that question?
Anyway, keep up the immobilisation, luck is more likely to happen to the prepared⌠or something like that?
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Can I give you some cold comfort?
Having been through this basically four times, do you feel better or worse that surgery will add maybe a week tops to your recovery? And that Iâm not lying you will feel it for yeeears, regardless?
(On my oldest break I got a complete arm and shoulder plaster cast, probably 1992 or so. I took a nap and rested it on my chest. I woke up a few hours later and my chest was asleep!! Fiberglass and titanium pins rule over plaster.)
(Oh and when they sawed that one off I had two pencils and an ant in there)
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Have I ever told of the time I broke my arm (greenstick fracture only - done that twice, actually), went to the hospital, was told no break, went home, then got called back hours later to be told theyâd had another look at the xray and it turns out I had actually broken it and could I come back (which was tricky, since I was 150 miles away at the time and had to go to a different hospital and do the whole rigmarole again)?
Wasnât the best bit that it got me out of a 2-day practical GCSE exam?
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Okay, donald me.
I want to know. You have the right to feel anger and trepidation (crap, it was a freak car accident right?). And twenty years ago surgery wouldnât even be discussed, it would have been,âwell, you have a crooked wrist nowâ. My right wrist is absolutely weirder than my leftâcause I had pins put in on my left.
Anesthesia is the worst part. The second worst part is when they remove the pins with a leatherman plier.
I am not shitting you.
Give me a ring if you want to know what to expect. It makes for a gnarly story, but really you are past the worst.
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Can I say that I have a hard time balancing between the spirit of the thread and people being genuinely nice? If Iâm not mistaken, donât you literally ask for âThe Donaldâ more than anyone else here? Will someone spare me, and @monkeyoh from being strict task masters and give @japhroaig the Donalding he deserves? Can you make it swift and merciful?
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