Isn’t that a mythtory we may never understand?
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Why did I just now notice this peach cider is 9% ABV?
2 Likes
Aha! 'Twas him, wasn’t it? In a pilot entitled Matthew, co-starring some old fart we’ve heard of like… I dunno, Harvey Keitel? Robert Duvall? Robert Vaughan? Shit, who can remember?
Anyway, yeah, it was Mac Astin, not Sean, but wasn’t he still a butthole?
Hmm. No, I’m mixing up memories, aren’t I? It was Sean who had the shitfit, on the Encino Man set, wasn’t it? Aren’t I now thinking Mac was just fine?
Aw, hell… have I spared either of those projects a moment’s thought in the 21st century?
I haven’t until now, have I?
5 Likes
Shouldn’t you retain your shit?
Back in the late 90s, wasn’t my brother hired by Universal to write and direct a modern remake of The Mummy? Wasn’t his script smart and literate and atmospheric? And wasn’t this right around the time that Seagram bought Universal, which resulted in longtime Universal President/COO Sid Sheinberg “retiring” from running the studio and assigning himself to The Mummy as a producer? And didn’t Sheinberg demand another writer be hired for rewrites? And then didn’t he fire my brother as director? And didn’t The Mummy sit on the shelf for three more years until Sommers’ version got made? And wasn’t that version slick as hell and dumb as a bag of hammers and didn’t it make Universal a mint? So ultimately, wasn’t that the right choice for Universal to make?
But could we not have been spared the indefensible, unmitigated trash that was Van Helsing had Sommers been stopped in time?
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Don’t I love all you nerds?
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Holy crap, did you just dream me a new career path?
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Also, wasn’t the best part of the Mummy the fact that Blixa FUCKING Bargeld did the otherworldly voice of the mummy? Didn’t I lose my shit when I saw that? Didn’t it feel weirdly subversive? Aren’t I super-sad that you’re brother didn’t direct it?
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Donald me. You and your brother in a very round about way introduced me to the love of my life.
Am I getting a kick out of this or am I getting a kick out of this?
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Small town, ain’t it? 
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Don’t I wish I had a copy of the script I could send you so you could read it? Wouldn’t I love to hear your opinion of it?
(Hmm… don’t I have somebody I could ask?)
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Jesus was looking for pie?
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Uh…sorry?
Did I not get around to pointing out that if one were to speak of “herstory” instead, and combine THAT with “myth” we might end up with MYRTHTORY?
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Of course, aren’t we all? Isn’t it one of life’s goals? It’s in the Declaration: “life, liberty and the pursuit of hapPIEness,” right? American Treasure was a whole different movie for a very long time.
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Can I just once again express my disappointment in the sequel’s third act requiring the morning light to chase characters across the fucking ground when LIGHT HITS THE TALLEST THINGS FIRST?
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Is that a declarative not in parenthesis at the end? Should I Donald this?
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Aren’t all these rules confusing?
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Who’s to blame for all of these unwritten rules?
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Keifer Southerland?
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And isn’t Donald to blame for Kiefer?
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