Did you leave your hamster DNA on a train?

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/09/03/did-you-leave-your-hamster-dna.html

ben stiller


“No, Watson, wombat DNA has a bouquet reminiscent of leather tanned in the vicinity of Heidelberg. This DNA has the slightest hint of curdled horse milk, and the lavender overtones mean it can only be… hamster.”


And it has a tart aftertaste too.

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Of course, it’s company policy to never imply ownership in the event of hamster DNA, we have to use the indefinite article “a” hamster DNA, never “your” hamster DNA.


They needn’t have tossed it out. DNA isn’t especially thermolabile. It was probably just fine. And now some poor lab tech will have to spend a half day isolating it anew.

I was expecting London rather than Heidelberg. I understand it’s a regular occurrence to find hamster DNA in The Tube.

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Enough with the kink shaming already, geez. Little Hamnet has a thing for public transportation seating, mea culpa.

We’re going to get him fixed, I promise.

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Anyone know the German for “hamster DNA”?

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Hamster DNS.


And thus the only evidence that might have secured a conviction against the great thief Whiskers McGraw was destroyed.

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Oh. I was hoping “hamster” would be one of those long German words…

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I’m not entirely sure why seeing this story immediately caused me to snap into reworking the lyrics of “Will The Circle Be Unbroken” into a solemn lament regarding the continuity of the cold chain; but that’s what happened.

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