She is a genius. I don’t think depression- anhedonia- could be explained as vividly as this. Plus, she manages to make it heartbreakingly funny.
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Do you think I could fit a baby in a crockpot? Or maybe a rice cooker?
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I was a single parent for a while. Although I was well above the poverty line, I was struggling financially. I made too much money to qualify for public assistance, but not enough to cover much more than our basic living expenses. I had to plan and budget very carefully to be able to break even at the end of each month, and I didn’t have any extra money for unexpected expenses. During that time, normal Finnish middle-class attitudes and expectations seemed utterly alien to me. For example, my daughter’s school asked children to bring their cross-country skis, ice skates, and bicycles to school for sports lessons. The notes from her teachers seemed to make the assumption that everybody has these things at home or can afford to get them. I felt really angry about those notes at the time. My financial situation has been much better for several years now, but it’s taken me a really long time to get out of the mindset I had when I had less money. I totally understand how being poor can change the way you think.
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I pre-ordered her book, but then because publishing is dumb was not allowed to have a copy the day it came out, despite there being books on display, so I bought a second one. And now i have two. 
Worth every penny.
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That’s a very standard model of dysfunction in families. The alchoholic person is the one the family ‘revolves’ around, for example, with the rest being in supporting roles: good kid, clown, codependent, etc.
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I can’t wait until gluten is no longer the food “sensitivity” du jour. “If some people are allergic, it must be kinda bad for everyone, right?”, well, what about shellfish and peanuts? It’s been good for true Celiac sufferers to see an expansion in choices, but I fear the inevitable backlash against niche ingredient-removal products created by the trend will mean it does more harm than good. My off-topic-rant nose is running right now, but a dose of SNL’s Flaritin ad usually reduces makes my food-trend allergy symptoms.
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Oh, believe me, right now if someone in our house were to have a trip to the hospital, or one of us got in a wreck, or whatever, we’d probably be homeless in short order. Getting pretty scary, actually.
And to tell you the truth, I can somewhat identify, because I’m thinking of taking my four-year-old to get some chicken nuggets and fries tomorrow, and that will be played up as a Big Deal.
Beyond that, though, barring a disaster, we’ll be okay if the bucks start rolling in soon. And on that note, congratulations on the book deal! Hope it goes well for you.
I eat Greek yogurt, but only because I freakin’ love the stuff. I try to not contribute to the acid-whey surplus by making my own yogurt, and using the whey in other things. Just made some biscuits a few nights ago with some whey instead of buttermilk. Yum.
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Yeah, I was thinking about that myself. It’s a disconnect in my mind. I feel a little of both. I guess that is always the balance, emotionally, to deal with the people that drag you off balance. So, perhaps it would be to be able to emotionally deal with the fuck up without getting caught up in their cycle of crazy, or teach the fuck up some emotional tools to be less of a fuck up.
Not sure how I feel about it all honestly. Throw in a few drug and alcohol dependency issues and it gets real messy real fast. I guess that’s why it’s easier to try to help the kids.
I am all too familiar Story of my life!
It’s also nice to not have to rely on family when one’s family happens to be the absolute wrong people to go to. I know too many people with abusive parents, destructive relationships between the siblings (due to parents), with extended family in denial about the abuse that creates unlivable situations. Having your safety net be the lottery of whatever little gene pool you happened to arrive in can be a life sentence of pain and insanity.
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I do. On the rare occasion none of my children are home for several days or even a week, I do not cook. There’s an incredible sense of responsibility hanging over you when it comes to feeding your family. When it’s just you, not having to think about food is freeing.
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It seems from reading this that the differences between being poor and being middle class lie solidly on the decisions one makes…
Like not getting pregnant while living in a weekly stay hotel.
Or brushing your teeth.
Or learning to roll your own cigs, or switch to snus, or ecigs, or any of the cheaper and/or safer alternatives, if quitting is indeed not an option.
Or learning to cook, cheaply, and clean up after yourself.
Or living within your means and not blaming your lack of money on your troubles.
Or maybe we can stop picking irresponsible people as poster children for the impoverished, as all it does is encourage people to equate the poor with the stupid, and feckless, and willfully ignorant.
I think that’s exactly it. I’ve needed the safety net that is there a couple of times and it was good to have. I was involved with some kids who had a file THAT thick with child protective services who through my involvement from a different state had a special - really great - case worker assigned to their case. The mom didn’t end up being a model citizen, but she improved more than we thought when she got some actual caring assistance instead of judginess or simple neglect which was what she was getting before.
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You have a horrible outlook on life and people.
I truly hope nothing ever happens to you that you end up in circumstances beyond your control and need help. Truly, I hope your life goes perfectly and you never have to feel the hopelessness that comes from poverty and knowing that the world is full of people like you ready to blame you for your very existence.
Be well.
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Thats the problem, you only have this to show you about poverty, I think you’d do well to get some life experience.
Dude, you’re responding to a straw man, not what is written on the blog or what is commented here.
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I loooooose my mine when people say “well you shouldn’t have had a baby if you couldn’t afford it” - do they have access to a time machine or magic mirror that shows them what the future will bring or some sort of temporal birth control that I don’t know about? They’re never talking about a woman that is currently pregnant and considering her choices, no they’re always referring to children that EXIST in the world now! I guess “let em starve to teach Mom a lesson” is fine for them? UGH!
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She was recently interviewed on “Fresh Air”
Interview: Allie Brosh, Author Of ‘Hyperbole And A Half’ : NPR
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Nope. You’re just wrong on this point, as the comments in this thread will attest. It’s not all about choices, because not all of us have access to the same set of choices.
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Didn’t read the linked blog, did you?
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You forgot not getting sick or injured or losing your job, not having family members who can’t support themselves, having a job that allows you to live within your means…
So what if some of problems that she has could have been different if she had made different decisions when she was younger? I’m doing OK now but I could have had a child almost a decade ago (before I started university) and things would have been very different. As it turned out, my wife had a miscarriage and we waited until a more appropriate time to have children. We couldn’t have blamed anyone else but that one act would have made any positive actions I have done since then a lot more difficult. At the end of the day, she knows how to cook and clean and cares for her family, but there’s literally no time in the day after doing the jobs that allow her to support her family to a basic level.
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