Dolphins love themselves (in that way)


In fact, dolphins are so sex talented that they have mastered what millions of teenage boys have been unable to achieve. Dolphins can masturbate. With no hands (it mostly involves rubbing against things).

However, just because they masturbate does not mean they ejaculate. Many animals are capable of masturbation that generally do not end up ejaculating, such as horses.

Pretty sure teenage boys have figured out rubbing against things without using their hands. Plus since they have hands, they’re way better at bringing things to a conclusion than animals without hands.

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Yeah! So SUCK IT dolphins…wait, that didn’t come out right…oh, uh never mind.

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If they could suck it, they wouldn’t need to rub their dicks on things.

OK, but do they respond to dolphin porn?

Have you seen their teeth? Like hedge clippers!

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“Now the dolphin’s got a real soft belly, and you can rub his belly, but don’t go past where the bellybutton would be because he’s kinda got the same thing you got. I said, he’s got herpes?”
-Robert Schimmel

Sounds like the dolphins need to /shades “Go for a swim” Yeahhhhh

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