Dramatic reading of wank shame scam spam sent to Boing Boing's corporate inquiries email helpline

Coincidence?

Ironically this kind of spam confirms who’s been penetrated, (in a good way).

Option #1: People will pay me to see me masturbate online.

Option #2: People will make me pay or people will see me masturbate online.

Growing up, I was led to believe The Future would hold more options…

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Is Rick Astley NSFW?
(NB: I’m just assuming it’s a rick-roll, didn’t actually click the link.)

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…ah, that should be the kicker. “Our first Victim was Rick Astley. We warned him we would send his music video to his entire contact list if he didn’t Western Union us $1,000,000 in BitKoin Apple STore GifT Cardz, and look what happened to him! Be afraid. Be Very Afraid!!!1!!!” :open_mouth:

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Crikey, what filth caused that mass spamming of millions of people with that U2 album?

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I always suspected Beschizza of being a wanker…

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The future is now, but it’s all going wrong.

– The The / Perfect

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If I had friends, I wouldn’t be wanking. Or not as much. :frowning_face:

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I think Rob is trying to channel Andy Summers (The Police) from the monologue on ‘Be My Girl (Sally)’. Sadly can’t find a YouTube link that works…

(or possibly Andy again on ‘Friends’:
“People say that what you are is only what you eat,
And my friends become a part of me, oh well it’s then that life’s complete,
To know you is to eat you, the act of love supreme,
Each one of us inside himself can appetize the dream”)

Creepy but utterly brilliant.

I would’ve responded with “thanks for saving me the trouble! how did you know I had a special surprise in mind for christmas cards this year! Grandma sure will be tickled. Glad to know that’s all taken care.”

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You are the VlogMaster of the MasturVlog? Big fan.

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This genre reliably pushes my rage button. I can’t fucking stand when dipshit garbage people become convinced that they are better than… well, anyone… and there’s nothing you could ever do about it, because even if you drew them a diagram they’re too dumb to understand their true place on the spectrum of human value (infra-brown). And the worst part is that, by definition, it is only the very most vulnerable and isolated who will fall for such feeble schemes.

There is truly no form of burrowing anal parasite scorpion larva they don’t deserve.

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God only knows what that one eye might look like! :rofl:

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I regularly get phone calls purportedly from Microsoft telling me I’ve got a virus on my computer, to which I always respond by telling them they’re lying. And every time they try to convince me otherwise I repeat that they’re lying, and ask them exactly how I know they’re lying. At that point I tell them that I have never owned a computer with Windows on it, I use a Mac, then hang up.

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I ask them which one, give me an IP or hostname… that usually shuts them up too.

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Technology FTW!

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