Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/12/12/duck-seeking-duck.html
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You need duck bait, what exactly is duck bait, I have no idea, but you need it.
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It may well have something to do with shaking a tail feather.
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Needs to be posted to the D4D section of Craigslist.
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the northern northeast for their pragmatic yet whimsical solutions to life’s problems.
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We, too, are down to one lonesome Runner duck but if she’s depressed she doesn’t tell me about it. I feel bad for her though.
In the spring we’ll be getting some chicks, probably, so maybe she’ll be able to raise some duck-chickens.
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Exactly. The best bait for male ducks is surely a female duck. If she hasn’t found a new one yet, she’s probably not hanging out in the right ponds.
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See, now, I was thinking this was a story about autocorrect!
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why doesn’t the owner just eat the duck for xmas? seems like alot of insecurities and loneliness are being projected onto a poor animal bred for human consumption.
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“Lonesome Duck” sounds like the Loony Tunes parody of a Western starring Robert DuVall and Tommy Lee Jones.
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A man in Maine realized one of his female ducks was heartbroken after a bobcat “snatched her two fellow ducks from owner Chris Morris’ yard on Dry Moon Lane about two weeks ago.”
Hollywood is going to be optioning the rights.
Death Wish - Revenge in the Barnyard.
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While I think eating those suffering from heartbreak is usually the best option, this breed of duck is a prolific egg-layer, so eating her would be a waste.
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A motherducker.
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Because animals have feelings, too.
Okay, you may all commence mocking me now. 
edited to add: I was going to post something about protecting domestic animals from predators, but bobcats. Rough. Not much you can do. A bobcat wants something, it’s going to get it.
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I had to google “runner duck”, because I hadn’t heard of them before.I was surprised to see that they stand taller and more upright than say a mallard:
What delightful creatures.
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Wrong coast, but:
Are we talking about a sprinter or distance runner?
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Cute, sexy Platypus seeks open-minded Duck for good times.
Likes worms, pina colada, and walks in the rain.
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I definitely wouldn’t want to be doing anything that might hurt property values when the posh poultry patrol is out. They look serious.
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You should see them at a poultry show. They all go into a little fenced ring and run around and around like swirling water, and the judge picks a winner by watching them.
Sounds like a drug-induced dream. I’m pretty sure I didn’t do any drugs and that this is an accurate memory.
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