Englishman takes ostrich for walk

Oh god, I’ve met that emu. That’s up around Durham, and I can confirm that he is indeed an arsehole.


I am casso-wary of both.


Cockatoos may not be physically as large as you but the assertive wee buggers think they’re larger.
If you ever lose a pet cockatoo, don’t worry, it’s probably no further away than the nearest pub, trying to pick a fight.

I thought he was singing “I’m an Englishman with an auk.”

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I’m an Englishman with a spork?

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