Every Playboy Playmate Centerfold Ever

Wonderful!

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I thought that was what the whole ‘Twink’ thing was about. My sister’s ex boyfriend used to model in gay porn magazines, and he had the ultimate ‘14-year-old’s face on He-Man’s body’ look. A beautiful man, but very much of that aesthetic.

I found it very interesting that there is a period from the mid-’60s to the early ’70s where i recognize nearly all the centerfolds… this clearly marks the the timeframe from the onset of adolescence through arrival at university, where my attention was diverted by the opportunity to interact with the real thing, free of parental interference.

The people at Playboy must have had a term for this precise window of opportunity…

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I love it when I think: “Golly, it would be great if the internet could do _______” and 3 seconds later I’m on that page.

So, here is the slow motion youtube player of the video:
http://www.youtubeslow.com/watch?v=rrzltZUGlOc

Proof it makes you go blind, then.

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You know the standard youtube controls allow for 0.25x and 0.5x speed, right? As well as 1.25x (great for podcast-like talky videos with slow speakers) and faster.

OK, I’ve looked at enough historic crotches to last me a lifetime now and my comments are:

Firstly, I find it hilarious how many people are getting all fedorad up about the 1950s pinups.

Firstly the idea that they are somehow less airbrushed than later models? Utter drivel. Some of the 50s pics are so heavily airbrushed that they barely look like photographs at all. Airbrushing to different ends, by all means, but airbrushing it remains.

Secondly, all these guys coming out in preference of ‘coy’ depictions of naked women was quite a surprise on ‘right-on’ BoingBoing - particularly as the unnecessarily negative comparisons to the more overtly sexual depictions of women in the 70s onwards are weirdly judgemental. Look, these are all images of women created with the needs and desires of men firmly in mind. It’s not like any of these women said “look, I really like your work but can you do anything to sexualise me in a way that people on the internet in 40 years time will find more vulgar than last month?” Frankly I’m amazed that the underlying denial of or at least ambivalence around female sexual agency inherent in ‘coy’ depictions does not come in for more scrutiny.

Finally, pubes matter. I can still dimly remember a time when total pubic hair removal was a fetish genre - at least, at the scorched earth end of the spectrum. Now it has become so commonplace that I have been wondering how long it will take people to realise that it’s actually pretty boring. While I don’t buy the infantilising argument that some make, I do think that there is a weird sort of sexual denial thing going on - a sort of making invisible of the genital region. That might also be down to the current preponderance of ‘innie’ genitals in porn and pinups, too - the combination of no pubic hair and identikit, minimal genitals lead many of the 2000s centrefolds to look like their sexual organs were designed by Walter Gropius. I don’t intend to denigrate those with small labia, but rather to question why the 2000s to present seem to only offer the absolute extreme manifestation of this appearance. I also think that shaving the genitals might be motivated by a desire to appear more sexual - displaying the genitals more openly and directly, but it seems to fail - firstly because there is no better sexual signal than an obvious arrow pointing at your sexual organs, and secondly because shaving - inherently, and irrespective of what you are shaving - is a civilising act. Sexuality, on the other hand, is meant to be at least a little bit wild. We are generally given to understand it as a part of our lives where spontaneous instincts and urges are still the main drivers behind our acts (which may be a happy fantasy). Therefore while both genders may feel the need to engage in some aesthetic landscaping (genitally or elsewhere), at least the illusion of a little wilderness may be worth maintaining - after the style of Capability Brown.

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I didn’t know that appreciating the artistically-lit, romantically-draped, often-cleverly-posed images of soft-core 1950s erotica made me a ‘fedora’d up’ hipster. But, um, okay. Is it weird to think that leaving things to the imagination is often a lot sexier than a big ol’ naked crotch?

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It was the specific, repeated use of the word ‘coy’ that I found worthy of mention, because that was the word that kept being used. And yeah, I do think that there is a certain degree of baggage that comes with that, and the depiction of women in the 1950s generally. I don’t agree that the lighting is overall more artistic than that of, say, the 70s, or the film-noir inspired 80s. Late 50s and early 60s lighting fashion seems to be as flat as possible. Perhaps I’m being obtuse, but I don’t really get how drapes are romantic, and as for ‘cleverly-posed’ - there are only so many configurations of a 4 limbed human body, and actually when you factor in the desire of the 1950s photographer to simultaneously hide the crotch and show the breasts of the model, the number of effective poses reduces greatly.

Would you say that this was the period during which you felt most randy, walters?

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I guess I’m referring to the fact that many of the 50s/60s photos tend to be little vignettes to tell a story — a girl’s shirt blowing open while picking up the milk, a girl leading a man upstairs by the fingertip, a naked lady in front of a fireplace offering you a drink, or even (yikes!) a half-naked woman by a campfire, leering at the viewer while roasting a weenie on a stick. That seems a bit more clever than a Photoshopped hairless lady just spreading her legs, to me.

I personally like the softer lighting and clever draping (needed to hide crotches) of that time. That’s why i was using the word “coy” – they had to be, to keep within obscenity laws. Then again, I’m looking at these as a gay man, so I likely have a different perspective on what I appreciate.

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I understand what you mean and I like the idea of narrative elements, too. However the narratives in much of the sort of pin-up art you describe (much of which was painted, too) serves to dispel the idea of the woman having an independent sexuality, while intrinsically acknowledging the sexual gaze of the reader. That is, firstly they are regularly somewhat infantile in depiction - women who lack basic competence - but also, in most instances her nakedness or the risk of nakedness is accidental - the wind, a badly behaved pet, a trapped piece of clothing - or more insidiously, a kind of natural justice meted out against the woman for sluttily daring to act somewhat imprudently - skimpily dressed women experiencing wardrobe malfunctions, etc.

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My favorite variant of this is the 50s or 60s era artist who drew fully clothed women in everyday scenarios where their panties – oh my golly – just happened to accidentally fall down around their ankles! These are so hilarious to me.

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Art Frahm! Master of dropped panties and stalks of celery.

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Well… you can go look at nudie pics, is that a prize?

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I’m old and I’ve got all the nude pics I could ever want. Early eighties Depeche Mode makes me happier now!

ETA: Pfft. Who am I kidding. I just caught another glimpse of Ms. Margaret Scott from February 1954. That is one delightful image.

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I doubt it’ll ever go away now that the cat’s out of the bag… Sure, there’s a market for hairies which will probably grow as the trend recedes, but IMO the shaving thing is just an extension of the whole effort to accentuate the feminine appearance - as much as evolutionary psychology has a bad name, I’d say it often offers an enlightening perspective.

There’s an overlap between being attracted to women and youth, since evolution has selected for youthful characteristics in women - smaller stature, higher voices, smaller noses and so on, which all contribute to triggering the protective instinct. Seems pretty obvious to me.

Then of course, there’s the practical upshot - maintenance is a hassle, but there’s a distinct tactile benefit.

Excellent! I bet the statistics contained herein would make a good doctoral dissertation. One could also do averages by month rather than decade. (Left As An Exercise For The Student.)

Actually, I meant one of those mosaic images, like so:

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