Facemask prevents store from ID'ing man who stole a 3-foot, 40-pound dildo in broad daylight

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/08/19/facemask-prevents-store-from-i.html

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The police will catch him soon enough if they just keep an eye on who checks into local emergency rooms.

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I think you mean willy thief

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Dick move.

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Sorry. Like a three-foot dildo, I got carried away.

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Gait detection should be able to ID him, just give it a few days

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Isn’t it obvious?

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He really took offense to his girlfriend telling him he had a small penis, didn’t he?

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“retails for $1250” - Does this make it a grand theft dildo? That would be a felony.

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That guy is going to be soo fucked.

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He alleged crammed the faux phallus into a white sedan “similar to a Dodge Caliber” and made off.

I hear that car has a lot of room in the rear…

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The big red arrow helped me identify him, he is the guy the big red arrow pointed to.

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Maybe it’s because he’s a huge asshole and needed something to fill that hole in his life :wink:

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Guy has white hair, looks older, not your usual dildo customer. Do you think perhaps he was offended and decided it was up to him to save humanity from the indignity of having to see it?

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What a dick!!!

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The dildo, which is affectionately known as “The Moby,” as in Dick, for reasons that I suppose are rather obvious, retails for $1250.

However, it’s also available on Amazon for a mere $550.

Finally, some @boingboingshop information I can use!

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Police have one prime suspect. . .

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Dude has an interesting superpower.

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Can’t wait for those X-rays (bonus points if Barbie shows up).

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