Fake Buddha Quotes collected


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How do they know it’s NOT Buddha?


“The master said: quotable quotes may get passed around more often, but don’t necessarily teach useful things.”


Because they met him on the road and killed him.


Because they sound like a fourteen year old who has just discovered that no one can stop them from writing poetry. No one.



This is true about most quotes on the Internet by famous people, especially archetypal people like Einstein, Disney, Hitler.

You can almost always tell by the patois and/or the sentiment.


“If you can’t quote anything nice, don’t quote anything at all.” …Buddha


If the quote contains the word “Grasshopper”, that’s a dead giveaway.



Site’s apparently been crushed (boing’d?) and appears to be in the process of reinstalling wordpress…


Likely boinged, yeah. It was there briefly though—it did what it says on the tin.


That guy makes me so $#^$& angry, I’m going to kick his ass! - Buddha

Fake or Real?

Snopes says it’s fake.


It’s much harder to fake Bible quotes, just because there’s always one smartass who’s actually studied it and has to ruin everything. Buddha is mysterious and foreign, and very few Americans know one word he said.


If he wanted to be understood why didn’t he speak English!?


…like Jesus did!


Within this vale
of toil
and sin
your head
grows bald
but not
your chin

Burma Shave Buddha


Yeah, sure. Next you’re going to tell me all those punny Confucious quotes are fake!



It’s back up now.