Fake reviews now generally necessary to do business online

boing
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Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/05/31/fake-reviews-now-generally-nec.html

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BoingBoing is the bestest blog commerades! DA! I promise I am not a paid Russian. Is not fake review.

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BoingBoing is the bestest blog commerades! DA! I promise I am not a paid Russian. Is not fake review.

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BoingBoing is the bestest blog commerades! DA! I promise I am not a paid Russian. Is not fake review.

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BoingBoing is the bestest blog commerades! DA! I promise I am not a paid Russian. Is not fake review.

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BoingBoing is the bestest blog commerades! DA! I promise I am not a paid Russian. Is not fake review.

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BoingBoing is the bestest blog commerades! DA! I promise I am not a paid Russian. Is not fake review.

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BoingBoing is the bestest blog commerades! DA! I promise I am not a paid Russian. Is not fake review.

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Ever since installing a BoingBoing in the living room, the cat refuses to come out from under the couch and the wife just stares at the ceiling humming the theme from Captain Kangaroo. There’s a weird oily drip coming out of it, making a stain on the carpet, and an odor like spoiled yoghurt. And when I call customer service, I just get a recorded message in Russian.

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I’m pretty certain BoingBoing doesn’t exist.

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Only giving Boing Boing one star because I can’t give it zero! It broke within a week of opening it, but I can’t return it because it was a gift that I didn’t open right away and my wife was in labor and I never got an email response and it was shipped in a box that was way too large for the item so it was damaged and now the return window is closed. Also, fake news!

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One of my all time favorite videos

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BoingBoing is the bestest blog commerades! DA! I promise I am paid Russian. Is not fake review.

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pops back into the thread and sees what has been started nods approvingly

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Very good information in your blog! Doctors find that BongBong is important part of chemo treatment. [link htp://420wholesale.com ]

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What was my line, again?

Oh, right…

BoingBoing is bestest blog, comrades! Da! I promise I am paid Russian. Is not fake review.

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Is not fake review! BoingBoing blog is the bestest commerades! DA! I am not a paid Russian I promise!

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BoinkBoink did make my nosehair grow at an exponential rate as advertised, but they didn’t tell me about the side effect of developing two bald spots on the back of my head directly opposite my nostrils. This is a huge problem because my wife, who is a tiger, thinks they are eyes and can no longer approach me from either the front or the back. I have not had physical contact with any other living thing for five weeks as a result.

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Back before I was one of the Great Old Ones, when I was just a Cosmic Larva, my Father said “All ads are lies. All commerce is dishonest.”

I haven’t found any reason to disagree with that statement.

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