FedEx customer service rep is deadly serious about finding a corpse

Originally published at: FedEx customer service rep is deadly serious about finding a corpse | Boing Boing

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Well, Gaby is one of the Twitter bots Musk is so obsessed with, that’s for sure.

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Once a skeleton, always a skeleton.

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Why not just say, “his skeleton was found”. I think the chances of the rest of him being alive somewhere else is low.

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I can only assume that he was a skeleton before he died.

And when you really think about it, aren’t we all?

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He chose … poorly.

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Wait, so the body is still messing? Who’s been tasked with cleaning up this mess?

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This sounds like it would’ve been easier to just ask the Body Farm for input.

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I thoroughly enjoy the Gothic novel generator bot.

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Did the FCME tell FedEx what was in the package being shipped? If not, then is it really FedEx’s fault they shipped the body illegally?

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It’s no mystery to me why a human body would take only two weeks to be skeletonized in the summer, in the sticky sweltering US south.

But I’ll tell you what happened to the FedEx package.

Porch pirates got a bigger shock than all the glitter bombs in the world.

I mean, if you’ve stolen a package, find out that it isn’t a rare autographed Gibson Les Paul, but a desiccated body, what do you do, return it? No. You toss it in a river or an abandoned lot or dumpster and tell nobody, ever.

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@thomdunn

the body is still messing

I doubt it - too desiccated for that by now (but who knows where FedEx put it, though?)

ETA I see @badenovs beat me to the typo

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It is mildly amusing that the law forbids shipping bodies via Fedex, when USPS uses Fedex to fly the mail where it needs to go. The Post Office has no planes of their own.

As there are always some pregnant women, the average number of skeletons in the human is more than one.

(I intrigued myself and decided to do a quick guess/calculation:
The skeleton apparently forms around 8 weeks, so for 32 weeks a pregnant woman has two skeletons inside her.
Aprox 385,000 people are born each day, so roughly 107,800,000 women are pregnant, and about 86,240,000 have two skeletons. World population is 7.753 billion, so the average number of skeletons in the human body is…
1.01
That’s actually a bit more than I was expecting, a whole 1% of the world is pregnant right now!)

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Do the average numbers of twins, triplets, etc. change the calculation in a significant way?

And of course, there are those of us who eat our meals whole

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I see. An ortolan afficionado! Head napkins at the ready!

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Oh, I hadn’t thought of that!
Apparently in the US about 3% of births are twins, but this is probably slightly lower globally because many countries have less access to fertility treatments (which increase the chances of multiple-births).
The odds of triplets is really small, so we can forget about >2 children-per-birth.
So no, multiple-births don’t significantly change the average number of skeletons. Good question though!

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