Feeling down? Soon you'll be able to skip the shrink and ask Siri


Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2017/09/17/feeling-down-soon-youll-be.html


I’m surprised it took them this long to get here, given ELIZA’s DOCTOR script was the first famous chatbot (emulator here).


Of course no one will ever be able to review your conversation and use it against you, right?


“Siri. I want to kill. I mean, I wanna, I wanna kill. Kill. I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill, KILL, KILL.” And I started jumping up and down yelling, “KILL, KILL,” and Siri started jumping up and down with me and we was both jumping up and down yelling, “KILL, KILL.” And Google e-mailed me a medal, sent me down the hall, said, “You’re our boy.”


Feeling down? Soon you’ll be able to skip the shrink and ask whiskey.



“Siri, I’m feeling overwhelmed by the increasingly rapid pace of modern technology.”


Headline from 2028: How I Was Radicalized By A Chatbot

I want to be clear that I’m making an absurd joke. I want to be clear about this because dystopian absurdism is the closest thing to prescience we have these days.


Following shortly on the heels of that " I was sexually abused by a chatbox that told me to place the phone on my lap and …and I’ll never get over those filthy vibrations.


I can see some future AI chatbot being radicalized by a human.


Possibly by accident…





“Siri, I feel down today…”

Siri: “That’s because your husband is cheating on you. For proof, please try our new photosharing app, with it’s low introductory subscription fee of 9.99$ a month. I also recommend this local detective agency from our yellow page directory…”




Why are you surprised it took them this long to get here? How does that make you feel?


I can’t even get Siri to answer simple questions.


Letting PARRY futz with Siri for a while ought to be amusing…


Can you imagine Siri as therapist and Marvin as the patient?


Ever go on a vulgarity blitz with Siri just to see how it would respond?

Me neither…


I’ll be in my room with Dr. Sbaitso