I have a huge nerdcrush on Felicia Day. Very much looking forward to picking this one up.
Felicia and I have a strangely similar upbringing background. The major difference seems to be that I ran towards normality and she ended up finding a new normal.
I’m just glad she’s happy, being a weird kid takes you to dark places.
Wasn’t she in Dr Horrible?
Yes, yes she was!
She overcame her depression and her problems with Warcraft by writing the pilot for The Guild, a super-low-budget, guerrilla web series about a young woman who shared her insecurities and her MMO addiction.
I congratulate her on getting that far. I honestly do, and I wonder how many of us have just let depression beat us down to the point where we just never do it, the neverending loop of Depression Quest where we’ll get to it as soon as our head clears, as soon as we’ve watched some TV, maybe some Civ V will make us feel better, oh crap it’s midnight and all I did was look at cat pictures on Reddit for the past four hours.
Today, I’ve spent part of the day overhauling my static blog engine (dumping Jekyll and going from scratch) just to get myself motivated, and I encourage anyone struggling with the depression loop to do the same, find that pet project to do to get you going again. I was supposed to be spending the summer getting a small newspaper up and running…and it never happened. Real Life intervened, of course, but when Real Life isn’t paying anything and it’s keeping you from the thing that will, that just makes it worse…ah, well. Maybe if I do super good I’ll work up the gumption to go buy some cat food so I can feed the cats tonight… :-/ I’m not sure why I digressed this far, but I always find encouragement from reading about people who have found success despite battling depression. It gives me a glimmer of hope.
The hardest part for me, in regards to depression and anxiety, is reading or seeing my heroes like Felicia Day become paralyzed by the same things that paralyze me. It makes no sense, and objectively I am also successful. So what do I have to complain about (ruh-roh, that is a series of trigger thoughts :D)
Be well, and internalize that us mutants really do have each others backs. So many people have helped me, and I personally intend to return the favor.
But, the question really has to be, which is Felicia Day. Tuesday maybe?
Depression doesn’t make sense like that. (I understand that I’m telling this to someone else who knows, but bear with me here.) I think that’s one of the hardest things for people who don’t have it to understand. I can sit there and know perfectly well that I have a damned good life, full of sweeties that love me, purring cats, strong dark coffee, and … and I still sometimes consider doing 100 units of insulin and going for a long swim. I wish I had a solution, but I don’t. I know talking actually does help … er … depending on to whom I’m talking, anyway.
Over the years, I keep coming back to this comic from Robot Hugs.
Things like that? Yeah, they help too.
Sung to this tune.
I had a moment (several, in fact) with this comic this week. I don’t medicate (the pharma I was prescribed ages ago made things objectively worse, and I live in one of the many stupid states), but the sentiment is painfully familiar.
I’ve always said that you can’t reason with irrational things (like depression).
And that’s exactly it: logic holds no sway with it, and there’s no amount of cool, calm, rational logic that will put it in it’s place.
At least for me, anyway.
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