Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2016/09/19/five-second-rule-conclusively.html
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When hungry the “whateverthefuck” rule applies.
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Meh. Depending on where you dropped it, you are unlikely to get sick from eating off the floor. Don’t waste food.
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That which does not kill me makes me stronger… or run to the bathroom multiple times later on in the day.
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I always thought this rule was laced with bacteria and sarcasm. Just glad you’re still alive to tell us about it, Rob.
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We have a rat terrier who spends about 70% of her waking hours sniffing around for food and tasting random things to make sure they’re not food. She is especially vigilant when someone is in the kitchen, or handling any sort of packaging or dishes.
Five seconds is way too long in our house.
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Coming from a country that doesn’t have this particular superstition I didn’t think people took it seriously. “No, I don’t eat crap off the floor indiscriminately like a pig. There are rules, I swear!”
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wet / soft / squishy food? - floor where people walk who have been outside? - eww, no
dry (pretzel) / hard (macadamia nut) / smooth (m&m)? - floor next to sofa while binge watching? - heck, yep
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I always thought the 5second rule was idiotic beyond extremes.
If something has fallen onto the floor, it’s either safe to eat or it isn’t. Depends how dirty the floor is, but time spent on the floor has near nothing to do with it*.
(*well, food spoiling rates apply for the longer end of the scale)
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I never believed it was safer; it was always used as a justification. 
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Lies!!
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Meh. I’d still probably eat it. Unless it’s a hot dog and the floor is covered in ketchup.
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Indeed, in a test of “bread, buttered bread, watermelon and gummi bears”, I would most likely not eat watermelon that had been on the floor, or buttered bread. Unbuttered bread and gummi bears are a little more surprising.
(How is watermelon a “traditional floor food”, anyway?)
@beschizza : There’s a missing </em> tag at the end of this post that’s mucking up the blog view.
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How about chocolate pudding, dropped in the entryway where I take off my muddy boots?
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Earthy.
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Mumble, mumble… first world something, something.
Besides, bacteria = delicious!
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“Here’s a tip - if you’ve got bacteria in your house and you’ve got kids, rub their faces in the bacteria.”
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The five second rule - if I want that food badly enough to pick it up less than 5 second after it fell, I probably won’t let a bit of dust stop me.
This weekend, we bought exactly enough almond-raspberry tarts for each person to have one, and when my daughter dropped hers, I traded tarts with her just to keep the peace. Floor-tart was still pretty delicious
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