Fiverr's new recruiting ad promises to literally work you to death

Literally “Coffee Soft”. Smoothing the corners for those whose realities are hard and unrelenting. From the land that gave us all those Vitamin B-and-caffeine “power up!” drinks in the 80s.

So, since we in the US withhold healthcare as the punishment for the non-rat-raced, does it even start to provide the necessities for the eventual ulcers and stress-based disease (social and medical) to follow for the good citizens who toe the line?

At least Japan had the good sense to have a decent healthcare system before launch. Here, it looks like a model of 1. Burn out the middle class, 2. Point your finger at the poors, 3. Profit!

4 Likes

Who has time for any other method?

Although I usually just bypass the bowl and put just a pinch between my cheek and gum…

6 Likes

Good on you!

I can only work Times New Roman pants.

20 Likes

You are now condemned to the 11.5pt level of hell.

17 Likes

Could you rephrase that in pixels or ems?

Saying it out-loud leads to a peculiar repetition of “point”.

13 Likes

Sorry, I wrote that quip in Lisp in emacs in Lisp in emacs. So there might be a touch of recursive recursion.

11 Likes

Unless somebody is sitting on a stash of high order satire of rather alarming size, even fighting reality to a draw might be kind of tricky.

3 Likes

I ̝d̲͈ͅo̰̞͓͙̭ͅ t͚͜h͈͇̬͇͜a̷̹̪̘̝ͅt̺͙͇̺͔̟͠ ͉̝͕k̫͖ind̬͍̣̲̮̣ ̜̼̪̙̞̜ͅo̴͈̘͕̥̗f̨͎ ̫͚̙̖q̪̥̬͜u̡̹i̵̯͖̦͇p̨͕̜͎̲̥͍͕ ̡̦̯i͏͉̲͙̥͔̹͈ǹ̝̝̞̭ͅ ͍̳͉͖̞̠̟͝A̻P҉̫L̴.̢͈ ̭̮͚̱̕T̶̘̞h̼͙͞a̲̮̻̜̞̺̫t̜͎͚̠̟͢ͅ ̵̭̙̮̤̞̜̫w͇̪̠̲̟̝͠a̶̗y̥̞͔̞̖,̵̟̝̰ͅ ͎̝̻̲̪͖ͅn͓̪̱͙͕͔̻͟o̻̥b̙̗̩̤̥̣̜͠o҉d̛̝̜̯y̨̤͉̥ ̨͓̣̫ͅg͖̫̬ǫ̜e̜̻̱̰̥͇̤͝s̛̮ ̙̤̣̮̪̗̀ͅt̴̺̬o̝̭͎̰͎ ̖̼͠H̴̙͍͎͖e̤̖͍̦͉̥l҉͖̜̜l̰͍̗̝̥̣͡ ͙̹͝-͡ ̶̭H̤e͇l͕l̞̣͉͉̳̩̗͢ ̦͎͇̀c̣̲̟͕͟ó̘͓̻̺͔̺ͅm̳̟e̡͇̘̬s͚ ͖͕̹͚̭ͅt҉̻̣̹̼͖̺̟ǫ̭̣͖ ̣́y̦̲͈̩͈̣̣o̲ͅṵ͓͓̯̞̣.͏

13 Likes

Dark chocolate covered espresso beans.

10 Likes

This is actually a good idea. I have never made cereal out of coffee, but I’ll have to try it.

5 Likes

You should laugh. The same people who grudgingly accept a $100 cost for you to get their PC working again in 2 hours think the same charge for per hour for creating graphics, writing content, and authoring web pages is outrageous, because their nephew 's best friend did one for MrX’s business for $50. Or $20. Or free.

I am always outbid on internet freelance offers, because their are many hungry* people around the world who will do a $50 job for $5.

*literally and figuratively

10 Likes

Of course it’s a crap ad…what do you expect for $5?

20 Likes

Caffeine pills.

4 Likes

I’ve had umpteen clients offer to pay exactly zero for logos, websites, and advertising, with the promise of “lots of exposure!” down the road.

I once had a Famous Musician ask me to paint life-sized portraits of him and his bandmates in the style of Alphonse Mucha, and they accidentally copied me on an email to their manager in which they said “I think he’s a fan of mine; if I offer him some tickets to a show, I’m sure he’ll work for free.”

20 Likes

Probably not news to you, but I ran across this twitter feed a while back: https://twitter.com/forexposure_txt

I’m pretty consistently shocked at the chutzpah of some people (or many people, apparently). I’d probably go postal if I worked in an industry where that kind of attitude was the norm.

3 Likes

Obligatory Oatmeal.

16 Likes

I’d rather be a Fraggle.

3 Likes

I wouldn’t say it’s the norm, but it’s most definitely the norm among (a) poor startup companies and (b) extraordinarily rich and famous people. I’ve had a few opportunities to do work with genuine stars, and every single one acted as if it was my privilege to get to work for them, and the idea of paying me money was just bizarre to them. I’m the proud owner of a bounced check from an artist whose name I won’t mention, but who didn’t give me enough R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

11 Likes

Maybe you should try Coca Pops “The grown up’s cereal!”

1 Like

Frosted Flakes?

That explains why Tony the Tiger has so much energy.

1 Like