'Florida Man' pleads guilty to child porn charges, then goes full 'Florida Man'

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Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/01/31/florida-man-pleads-guilty.html

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“Kill Briggs.” sounds like pretty awful code to me.

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From the article, the Rabbi really is just a Rabbi:

Speaking to local media, the man dismissed the allegation that he was contacted to carry out a hit. He told The Orlando Sentinel, “I’m 75 years old, blind in one eye and have a cataract in the other. I don’t think I’d hire me as a killer.”

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Beau Bridges has fallen on hard times.

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“He’s just a ‘rabbi.’ ”

Dang, bummer days Florida dude.

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Too bad! It’s hard to see how the plan could have failed if actually carried out. Certainly the district attorney would have dropped the charges if the judge was murdered.

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Convict: But they told me you were the best knife-man in the business!
Rabbi: That’s… not the business they were referring to.

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rabbi != mohel

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Joke attempt, take two:

Convict: But they told me you were the best knife-man in the business!
Rabbi: Well, I’m also a mohel.

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Florida men just in the last few days:

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2018/01/31/florida-man-tries-to-steal-two-planes-take-joyride-in-golf-cart-and-fuel-truck-cops-say.html

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2018/01/31/police-florida-man-swung-sword-in-road-rage-attack.html

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We should never forget or forgive Ponce de Leon, the original Florida Man. I mean, he started this whole shitshow.

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Pants the Lion

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Ha! you first!

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No you idiot, I said we need a MOHEL!
220px-Naked_mole_rat

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For a split second I thought that photo was Trump’s hair photoshoped onto Obama’s face.

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Here’s another article that makes it much clearer that “Kill Briggs” wasn’t the code. He supposedly gave his mom a bunch of numbers and they were code for “Kill Briggs.” That makes FAR more sense than the jumble of gobbletygook in the People Mag piece.

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I can hear the defense now…

“You don’t understand your honor he wanted to circumcise someone”.

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People is not the epitome of clarity in journalism? Fer Chrissakes, next you’re going to tell me US Magazine has at times been inaccurate! :wink:

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That’s quite a mother. Ma Barker would be pleased, if she wasn’t so pissed off.