Satan’s whatever you imagine it to be. That should have tipped me off a lot earlier to the fact that religion is bullshit designed to terrify and control people.
A tool made by psychopaths in order to control psychopaths. And seeing as I’m not a psychopath, I don’t need the threat of being tortured forever in a lake of fire by a shitty absentee-father-god to be a decent person.
Whew! Thank goodness there’s still an anal sex loophole. After all, putting things back there doesn’t count as “sex” (unless, of course, you both have a penis).
obligatory:
I realize that this the reasonable language on the card is a front for all sorts of unhealthy nonsense, but social pressure to get laid at all costs really is a problem, too.
There’s a movie called “The 40-Year-Old Virgin,” and you know it’s a comedy because obviously anyone who hasn’t gotten laid by age 40 is a pathetic joke of a human being–right?
That’s seriously fucked up.
The breadth of human experience covers an entire spectrum of unhealthy attitudes about sex. Then again, I don’t think anyone should ever model their behavior on an Apatow movie.
I’m no fan of the application of social pressure (unless it’s in the service of encouraging or discouraging something that is justified on other grounds, which recreational mockery of the nonconforming certainly isn’t); but unless asexuality is rather more common than generally suspected; I’d be very strongly disposed to suspect that prolonged sexual inactivity in adults is something that is typically displeasing in itself, not merely because of social pressure.
We tend to target the weak and vulnerable for additional abuse, which certainly doesn’t help their case any; but it’s hardly the case that all of popular opinion’s soft targets were happily going about their business until socially constructed pressure came after them. That’s sometimes the case; but it’s not news that the world can be cruel even if your peers aren’t.
Uh, doesn’t that mean it should be stigmatized less? Depression is also pretty “displeasing in itself”, but it’s hardly constructive to point and laugh. “Oh, man, that guy’s such a loser! Always feeling down in the dumps and shit.”
bear hug
(I know it doesn’t fix anything, but platonic affection is better than nothing)
Oh, don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that it should be stigmatized at all. Unless there is some other compelling justification(as there is with, say, social disapproval of theft or murder), applying social pressure is a nasty business.
My point was that (as with depression), I strongly suspect that most of the people who reach middle age without having had sex don’t think that they have a problem because of social pressure(though, if anyone finds out, they likely will have another problem, with social pressure).
I apologize if I was unclear or inexact in my phrasing, I just wished to distinguish between ‘things that are a problem because they’ll bring down social hell on you; but not otherwise’ and 'things that are probably getting you down and will attract opportunistic harassment.
Perhaps I’m just a bit jumpy; but my impression(particularly in my dealings with the ‘neurodiversity’ enthusiasts) has been that some people don’t realize when they start to go from the (commendable) position that harassing somebody of a given disposition is a dick move and unacceptable, and start blurring into optimistic chirping about how that given disposition is some kind of good thing, even if you insist otherwise.
There is basically no problem where having people be assholes to you about it improves the matter; but there is a big, big, difference between “Condition X is actually A-OK; but stigmatized by the social construct, man” and "No, Condition X actually pretty much sucks; so you are a terrible human being hunting for soft targets if you go after people about it).
Well, much like with neurodiversity, there should be room for nuance. As in, if somebody feels their abstinence isn’t negatively affecting their life, then they shouldn’t have to worry that others will judge them.
Even this creepy religious shit about remaining a virgin until marriage would be okay if it were motivated by genuine faith (i.e. doing it would make the person happier), rather than a fear of social ostracism.
You beat me to it.
I thought the people who actually cared about him, his friends in the movie actually handled it without stigma and that the character was not a pathetic joke. It’s less a comedy than I think a lot of people would have treated it.
Also, anyone who considers it a negative judgement in regard to someone’s character is someone whose character is suspect. Everyone has their own schedule for everything, to hell with the general “supposed to” business about any of it.
How about this then?
An earlier study in Canada found that a small fraction of college students did not consider vaginal intercourse with an orgasm as “having sex,” they pointed out.
I’d love to know what they did consider “having sex” to involve. Actually, no, I think I’d rather not know.
I once set up a certificate for a father, regarding the virginity of his daughter, making a gift of it for her future husband. It was super creepy, dude made me really uncomfortable, but it was properly kerned, dammit!
See also:
(Elvis was in town to pick up his honorary DEA agent badge, no lie.)
Thank you for that article, I read something similar a few years ago concerning an Indiana poll. No, I have no idea what they think ‘sex’ means either.
My favorite bit from the article?
Women with “virgin pregnancy” were twice as likely as other pregnant women to have signed a chastity pledge, with more than 30% reporting they had done so.
Honestly, there’s nothing I can say to improve this.
There’s always anal.
I never lost it.
I remember precisely where I left it.
Well, if I have never before had a reason to make life changing decisions based on a drug-dealer story then I most certainly have one now!!
I’m sure the voices in the head of a bronze-age genocidal war-king misogynist are much better at dictating how I live my life than personal autonomy, logic and reason.
