Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/12/27/former-walmart-santa-claus-arr.html
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Just think, if he’d been born rich he could have been president.
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That mugshot now… doesn’t his entire personality just shout out “jolly old elf” to you?
I must say, though, that I don’t see how this is newsworthy. Now if the journalist had found a Walmart Santa Claus who was not an angry person simmering with rage who hates kids and keeps the bodies of children he’s killed buried under his woodshed, that would have been newsworthy.
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This is pretty much normal for Effingham.
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Doing the math, when the kids were born, he was 36, and the mom was 19.
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“And a jolly old elf was he.”
Something something…
Something, something…
“And he called for his fiddlers three.”
Unfortunately, no, the math is worse. It sounds like the kids were both last seen when they were 14, but the older child had been missing for as much as two years.
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“Boing Boing, a directory of the occasional wonderful thing”
“Boing Boing, a directory of honestly mostly horrible stuff, but you’ll keep coming back. We know you will”
“Boing Boing, a directory of truly horrible people”…
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Is it really that bad in the US? jeeez.
The linked article says they are still trying to track down the biological mother. Without knowing who she is, there’s no way to do the math.
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one suspects that he killed her too…
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Well, no, but it really is that bad in Walmart. Especially if you’re a Santa Claus.
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When did Walmart get Santas?
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That’s really the most unbelievable part of the story
Ahhhh, Methingham. Trying to make “Georgia Man” a thing.
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what’s interesting is that if you read the report closely, he hasn’t been charged with their murders (not yet anyway) - only concealment of their bodies and not reporting them missing. More than likely he killed them but it can also be true that they died of natural causes. Very bizarre.
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What does his job as a Santa have to do with this? It sounds scary, but in the end it’s meaningless noise that acts as clickbait.
To be fair, something really cool gets maybe a dozen replies.
Something awful gets 150 minimum.
You do the maths.
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Did he dine on the kids before hiding them?
Maybe he was also working on a groundbreaking new adventure game?
