Fox News marches into Gilead with seriously creepy prayer segment (video)

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2024/03/18/fox-news-marches-into-gilead-with-seriously-creepy-prayer-segment-video.html

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This segment was not brought to you by the Gospel of Matthew and the numbers 6:5-6.

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This must make the Xtianist grifters at the 700 Club and similar networks very nervous. They can’t compete with Murdoch.

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“In the spirit of Easter, I will betray one of you tonight.”

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No, no. Good Friday is the holiday commemorating betrayal and torture. Easter is the holiday commemorating zombies.

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Growing up my parents would always ask me to give up something for Lent, and I’d always say “how about I give up church?”

That never seemed to work.

“OK, how about I give up fasting?”

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There’s an app for this now?

WTF?

Oh, JFC!

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Came here for that.

Also,

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Jesus wasn’t a zombie, he was a vampire… it’s all about blood not brains… Although, I think that @the_borderer once argued that Jesus might be a Lich…

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Don’t vampires heal, though? Jesus still had all those holes in his body when Thomas met him.

ETA: Now that I think about it he has a lot of qualities related to classic vampire traits, only reversed from the norm.

  • Emerged from his crypt just before dawn instead of just after dusk
  • Wanted everyone else to drink his blood instead of the other way around
  • Crossed bodies of water with ease
  • Spent lots of time in close proximity to crucifixes
  • Walked exclusively on hallowed ground

Perhaps he’s a Bizarro World vampire!

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Okay, look, as an atheist I acknowledge that I don’t know the ins and outs of the Christian religion, but having a sponsored prayer segment just seems a bit blasphemous to me.

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I thought he was a Lich? :stuck_out_tongue:

yeah, but he’s still more like a vampire than a zombie…

Winona Ryder Movie GIF by filmeditor

Jesus Reaction GIF

Um… literally said that, dude. Like, literally. :woman_shrugging:

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Reverse-vampires!

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Sorry, I didn’t see it on the original post, just the reply where it was cut off.

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I have less of a problem with that specific message, and more with the fact that they constantly support policies, politicians, and narratives that are antithetical to “selfless love”.

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Heck, they even have a downer on “self-love”.

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So instead of being Dracula, he’s Alucard?

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No sweat. Most Christians don’t know either.

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