Fuck Me


Consider this the self-flogging sibling to Fuck Today. This thread isn’t about confession, just full-tilt I-hate-myself-for-what-I-did-today regret and self-resentment. So share your day-related self-loathing, inward disappointment, and general self-directed anger, you horrible, horrible person you.


So we shouldn’t interpret this as a request, then.


Oh good. Another thread into which I will post the majority of replies!


No, because you didn’t say the magic word.



What if I’m all out of fucks, even for myself?

(Maybe go on a fucks strike, and demand Discourse allocate more fucks to give?)


Well I hate myself because all the best jokes already seem to have been taken and I’m laughing too hard to hate everybody else. And I’ll take this opportunity to share this terrible real conversation I had with a restaurant hostess:

Me: Hi, can I get a copy of the menu?
She: The what?
Me: The menu.
She: Oh, the menu. Yes. I’m deaf.
Me: I’m sorry to hear that.

She was kidding about being deaf which ain’t a great thing to joke about but it was my reply that made me feel like a horrible person.




Clever… but that’s:


Wouldn’t @OtherMichael accuse you of cheapening the fucks?

:game_die: Would You LIKE to Play a Game? :video_game:

Fucks inflation?



This entire thread is bound to go sideways.


Well, without any fucks to give Scott Adams could go on a murder spree… :open_mouth:


That would qualify for a “fuck me sideways” event.


Band name?

Or huuuge mattress sale?


I pulled a boner thread?


Not I. I’d point out that the action democratizes the actions.


I apologize, I haven’t pulled a boner in the last 24 hours. I’ll work on that today and get back to y’all.

Wait, that may be the start of a good Fuck Me day…

Wait, my mom is probably reading this…

Okay, there you have it! I made a regrettable life choice in a thread about regrettable life choices.



I’m all out of fucks
I’m so fucked without you


The more people who walk around the rest of today singing this to themselves in their heads the better.