Gallery of awful tech garbage at CES

Apparently if you buy this hat your tits become solar concentrators.

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All I wanted was a GTX 1080 ti. Was that too much to ask?

Apparently so.

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Wasted real estate. They need to make a solar cell bikini top, too.

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It could be solar and kinetic.

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Cant let those Baywatch-style running sequences go to waste. And just think of all the motorboating.

Also, one of my favorites:

Smart...grill cleaner. #CES2017 pic.twitter.com/iufFAzXlpX

— Internet of Shit (@internetofshit) January 7, 2017
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I think that laser tank being called shit is why Trump won.

Good lord, there is even a grill cleaning roomba? It’s like you guys don’t buy steak at Sharper Image.

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I see that they didn’t make fun of the one thing that I saw where I said "I’d buy that” (which prompted an atomic eye roll from the wife) – the Battery Belt. A leather belt with a bank of embedded batteries.
When the wife queried “why would you want that ugly thing”, I uttered “I’m Batman” – it took several minutes before her eyes finally returned front and center.
(Sorry, no pic)

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A wise man (George Carlin) once said, “Nail together two things that have never been nailed together before, and some schmuck will buy it.”

Edit: with ==> will.

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I got a pair of these for Christmas and they are great.

I mostly listen to podcasts and it works well. If you are a true audiophile with your music, then you need something different.

https://twitter.com/internetofshit/status/817525322358763520

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The idea goes back decades. Anyone else remember the Bone Fone in the late 1970s?

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What’s the opposite of singularity?

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Plurality?

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Visitors to CES have been having fun with tech garbage for a long time.

I remember reading a short column in CREATIVE COMPUTING in the early 80s, listing the worst items that David Ahl had run across. The one I recall with a small box you’d stick in your kid’s diaper. It pinged an alarm when the tot peed.

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[quote=“KXKVI, post:18, topic:92493, full:true”]A wise man (George Carlin) once said, “Nail together two things that have never been nailed together before, and some schmuck with buy it.”[/quote]Better get right on combining that Smart Underwear with October’s big trend.

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All those “smart”/“connected” gadgets are like parodies of “smart”/“connected” gadgets. Smart soap dispensers! Smart tampons! Smart shoelaces! Smart cock-ring! They’re not any more absurd than the real products. (And at least one is a real product.)
The nice thing about the wi-fi blocking pants is you could presumably actually test them at CES by wrapping your phone in them and getting to instantly discover they don’t work worth a fuck. That or a conspicuous lack of example shorts would alert you to the fact that they didn’t trust any ad hoc tests that might happen.
The mosquito killing robot is, of course, awesome. Even if it doesn’t work.

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Heheh, bone conduction.

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Well, that’s saved me money - I don’t have tits. Well, not like that anyway. So I guess it wouldn’t work for me.

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You mean like combining the solar hat with a Trump hat?
Oh god, I could make millions…
DIBSS! This is my idea!

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“Just glue some computer chips on it an call it smart crap”.

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