Negative review of a $1,500 Silicon Valley toaster oven


#1

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2016/11/28/negative-review-of-a-1500-si.html


Kellyanne Conway: microwave ovens can turn into cameras but she's not Inspector Gadget
#2

This article coincides with Peak Sriracha.


#3

Rich people problems.


#4

If you’re gonna spend $1500 on a goddamn toaster oven, then you deserve whatever hell it burns your toast in.


#5

It’s like the engineer asked himself “how can I take the most poorly designed base class of kitchen appliance from the past 40 years and add in even more points of failure?”


#6

When you cook salmon wrong, you learn about cooking it right. When the June cooks salmon wrong, its findings are uploaded, aggregated, and averaged into a June database that you hope will allow all June ovens to get it right the next time.

“Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance” updated for the .gif generation.


#7

Come to think of it, if you can make animated time-lapse .gifs of your dinner going completely wrong, I can see that as a huge selling point. (And apparently, you can!)


#8

But will it interface with my self-driving car?

Because I am hungry for toasted snacks during the long trip from my trailer to the movie set.


#9

The people who designed this oven likely don’t cook, or even enjoy eating, and subsist on Soylent.


#10

I gotta admit, as someone who dispises the stippled screens on oven doors and microwaves, I like the idea of a webcam where I can watch my stuff cook…

I would take the door off my microwave if I wasn’t completely certain I would irradiate my face.


#11

Great, exactly what i was missing in my life. Having my toaster oven spam my cellphone


#12

Sounds like it belongs in the section on Disobedient Electronics.


#13

I can not stop laughing at the $1500 toaster, fucking ridiculous times 10.


#14

Ah, but can it talk? What good is a toaster oven without a voice? Silence = Death!


#15

I thought my $80 Beville was pricey but now I feel like a fucking genius, since all it does is toast instead of screwing up the timing of dinner with friends by half an hour.


#16

You seriously do not want it to talk…


#17

Dave: Computer, cook this filet mignon.
Computer: Certainly. What temperature, Dave?
Dave: Well done.
Computer: I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.


#18

When you spend 1500$ on a toaster you probably expect it to have more of “whatever” - if it behaves just like the 30$ variant you (should?) feel duped.


#19

Dave: Computer, cook this filet mignon.
Computer: Certainly. What temperature, Dave?
Dave: Well done.

“I haven’t started yet, Dave. Your commendation does not compute.”


#20