And this is every guy who messages me from the Netherlands or Pakistan and says “distance doesn’t matter when there is true feeling!” or something to that effect. Sure, it doesn’t matter to you, but I have “local friends only” as the first goddamn sentence in my profile so evidently it matters to ME.
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@Jilly made some great addendum to your thoughts. You both get applause.
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I didn’t think, given the two articles you linked, that that’s where this discussion was going, but I guess it really is all tied together, isn’t it? It’s exactly the same mentality of “Anything other than what you can do for me doesn’t matter,” just carried over from the sexual to the, well, I guess everything else.
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TBH, I didn’t think it was going there either, and I certainly didn’t have it in mind when I posted. In the original post, I was approaching the topic from a sexualized perspective. It wasn’t until I read your post that I thought about the ideal 50s housewife and how she is absolutely objectified and thus found Nussbaum’s definition. So, kudos to you for leading me there! That’s the thing I love most about BBS.
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I think there is a good rundown in the Tropes Against Women in Video Games, there is one about women used as window dressing - especially as dead hookers, which is very much alive in well in all popular network television.
They are not trying to show a bunch of pale blood covered bodies to arrouse, at least I hope not…
EDIT
I have not watched these in a while, so it might not be as on topic as I remember.
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Oh man, the compliment as currency in a power exchange trope. I hate that so much.
Because the flip side is so ugly. Because to these kinds of people, there is only “beautiful” and “ugly”, one you give compliment currency to so they’ll pay attention to you, the other you actively ignore or insult. There is no inbetween, there is no comprehension that they are not the arbiters of “beauty” and that people can survive without knowing what you think of their appearance. Ugh, so gross.
@wait_really - colour me shocked, shocked I say!
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Wait… so negging doesn’t work?
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Wow. Someone did a really good job of photoshopping Orson Welles’ head onto Armin Shimerman’s body.
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True story: my coworker and I got caught in a PUA swarm. One of those loosely organized “events” where 50-100 wannabe PUAs will swarm a mall or area on a saturday to “talk” to as many girls as possible, and then post their results.
We are in our 40s. These kids were 18 or 20 at the most. And they were swarming the provincial university fair, which was full of teenage girls. So why they tried to talk to me and my coworker I have no idea…
And they negged us. Or tried to. Its hard to neg people that are killing themselves laughing.
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Not to derail, but I had to look up what “negging” is. First and foremost, ew, gross. The website I found also gave this as a negging example that works every time:
“Your nose is a little red. You’re like an Eskimo. Cool.”
So, not only are you a creep for using such a technique, you are also culturally insensitive, at best. Yep! Works every time!
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Unnngghhh
MRA/PUAs are the worst. An element of the alt-right crowd that often gets overlooked, and IMO it’s cuz their fascistic/supremacist philosophy revolves specifically around sexual domination, a topic we can’t really have a serious discussion about in the U.S.
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Yes, but that’s still a very first-world, privileged mindset. Working out requires time that a lot of us don’t have. Food deserts are also very real. Sometimes it’s hard work just to survive, especially if dealing with depression, poverty, taking care of dependents, etc. But somehow, it’s only the “hard work” (don’t make me laugh) of sitting at weight machines for like an hour a day that’s noticed.
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Awww shit, now you done did it. Don’t you know posting anything Sarkeesian is like a summons for MRA trollies PUA losers, miso-apologists and vag haters in general?
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Why exactly? I’ve never had a trouble developing a relationship with someone after initial sexual attraction (aka, “I’d fuck them”). That feeling is temporary and rather primal and doesn’t even reflect the reality of whether I’d actually sleep with them or not.
I’ve learned to suppress those thoughts because it is what society expects and also because I find men who verbalize those thoughts rather crude.
I would be lying if I said if suppressing the thoughts themselves wasn’t sexually repressive and that when I fail to suppress them it didn’t cause me shame though. I also have a little bit of resentment about the shame.
I don’t know. The idealized rules around interaction between the sexes in America seem unhealthy.
That and most bodybuilding is just bunk. Especially the diet and what exercise to do stuff. Very much an industry just like the diet industry in every way.
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I would humbly suggest it ain’t just America.
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To be blunt, this comes across as “I didn’t read the three paragraphs after this which explained ‘Why exactly.’”
Especially when the third paragraph explicitly covers the “initial sexual attraction” bit.
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You feel ashamed that you don’t treat people you’re attracted to like they’re things? Does not compute. Especially since you also said you go on to appreciate their other qualities if the opportunity arises.
Remember, objectification stops at “I’d fuck her”. Doesn’t sound like you’re stopping there.
As for the verbalising thing: imagine being on the receiving end of all those verbalisations in a world where nobody held back. Note that not all said verbalisations would be “I’d fuck her” – loads of other judgements get suppressed.
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The diet stuff is just weird. They treat themselves to 3/4 cup of flaxseed and a slice of boiled chicken breast once a day, or some shit like that.
I avoid fast food, and cook for myself most of the time, but life’s too short to eat bad food.
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