Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/04/18/get-unparalleled-muscle-pain-r.html
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Mountable ball massager
…is what we’re calling it after mom finds it in our room.
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I’m massaging some balls right now.
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I think it would be more accurate to call this a massager ball.
For those hard to reach places.
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I like how the photo used is it mounted on an outside wall. Like that won’t earn a person some looks.
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If you find it in mum’s room you shouldn’t have been looking.
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I use a tennis ball in a sock. Easier to adjust.
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When I was in rehab last year one of tge physiotherapists just took a tennis ball and placed it between his back and the wall.
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Surely y’all could have come up with a more up-to-date reference.
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Ball massager?
Industrial suction?
Boingboing isn’t even setting us up to write the jokes, they are just writing the jokes themselves.
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Buy two and get parallel muscle pain relief !
Saves time !
Get both those balls working in unison. Nobody likes lazy balls.
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This seems remarkably impractical to masturbate with
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lacrosse balls - $3 each
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That’s just Richard “Balloon Boy’s Dad” Heene’s “Bear Scratch” with an extra attachment on it.
What is a ‘patened’ anything? The marketing bullshit copy is one thing, but the headline incomprehensibility…
Perhaps it’s ‘patented’? So who cares if a crapgadget is patented or not? Does this imbue it with some magical woo available only at the US Patent Office?
And these are a fraction of the price and probably better. Less than 12 quid on Amazon UK. Search term is ‘spiky massage balls’. Shove them between you and a wall and move around.
You’re welcome.
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Even less (for exactly the same thing) if you search for “spikey dog balls”.
[Insert joke here.]
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I’ve got a spikey dog.
How does he smell?
(Hang on, I may have got that wrong…start again)
I’ve got a spikey dog.
What does he lick?
Spikey dog balls.
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A suction cup that works on a stucco wall (see first photo)? Yeah right.
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You can mount your ball massager. Just don’t mount it.
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