Getting off opioids - help this gal find something to do!

best of luck!

have you looked into ibogaine and naltrexone?

things i’ve found helpful for me in similar situtations: baths, tea, cleaning, sleeping, walks in nature, deep breathing, friends…

shows: breaking bad, sherlock, game of thrones, shameless, deadwood, carnivale, fargo, etc.

Torchwood is great, and with Dr. Who, it is less intimidating if you start at the 2004 reboot, and Star Trek (TNG) you can watch pretty much a la carte if you don’t want to watch start to finish. Star Gate and Sliders were also both also pretty good Sci-fi.

BTW. @Elusis - I like your taste in shows, anime, and manga!


I just watched all 6 series of Parks and Recreation in 3 sittings. I recommend it.
Adventure Time. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry. You’ll hug your pet a little too hard.
I was surprised at how good the film Delivery Man was. Avoided it for ages but I shouldn’t have.
Love Is Strange. Another unexpected gem.
Anime? Metropolis and Steamboy. Beautiful. Also try the compilations Memories and Short Peace. WOW.

As far as games go…

If you don’t mind a steep learning curve (although they’ve tweaked it to make it easier for beginners recently) Quake Live is free and will eat up your hours. If you are of that mindset. (oh, try the Free For All (FFA) game type if you do try it, more fun, more forgiving :smile:)
It’s like chess with a hundred variables at 1000 mph.

Also, check out the Awesome song and Under and Over rated film threads…

Lots of music and film suggestions.

ChikieD has a summary of most of the thread at comment 224.

Beyond that, I bid thee a successful quittance and fair farewell.


Totally agree on Stargate. That’s goofy fun.

I think with Doctor Who it’s almost better to start at Matt Smith. watch his stuff, catch up with current ones, and then go back and start again with Eccleston. Explore the first 30 years of the show later.

Then the War Doctor will make sense. Almost.

And Star Trek: Deep Space 9 is remarkably great. Definitely the deepest of the series’


Speaking of which, isn’t it about time for us to get a new Star Trek series? It has been too long!


Speaking of large space stations all alone in the night, I’ve just started a re-watch of Babylon 5.
Looking a touch dated in some respects, but standing up very well.


On a similar note, I’d probably avoid Farscape for anyone coming off of drugs…

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Oh my god, thank you all for your responses. It’s nice to wake up to this. I love you. :smiley:

Hah, I just said to my boyfriend the other day that we need to watch Community. I’ve heard about it before here in BB. Thanks for the reminder - I downloaded the whole series.

And thank you for calling it a “mission”! That makes it seem very important and not at all pathetic.
Trailer-guy voice “One woman… one mission…”

Can’t wait for more Archer, but it’s not available on our Netflix at least yet. Aeon Flux is something I’ve been meaning to watch, so I downloaded the series, shorts and the movie. Rick and Morty I’ve never heard of, but it sounds exactly like my kind of thing.

I had to google what the heck is paracord work. :smiley: It sounds like a great activity and could prove useful, because I spend a lot of time in the wilderness and love crafty stuff like that. I just need to get the material.

And yes, exercise is super important. I try to stretch every few hours because all my joints hurt like hell. I also have some weights (well, they’re really my boyfriends) which I haven’t had the energy to touch yet, but doing some light weight exercise could also do some good, as long as I don’t over do it.

Mr. Show is awesome!

That is a great idea. I’ve played some guitar and piano, but only occasionally, nothing big. Tried bass too. My boyfriend is a really good jazz guitarist, so we have like 7 guitars and 1 bass at our apartment. But like you said, bass somehow seems like the best idea at this point. I can’t explain it, but there’s something calming and powerful in those deep notes.

Also, how funny that you would post a video of Pink Floyd when that’s one of my favorite bands.

All awesome suggestions! Someone of those I’ve been meaning to watch, like Pushing Daisies and Six Feet Under. A

I’ve seen Trigun (even own the manga). I’ve heard such great things about Serial Experiments: Lain that I just downloaded the whole deal.

I’ve had Waking Life forever, I don’t know why I haven’t watched it yet. Being John Malkovich I’ve seen and loved. The others movies I haven’t heard about, but they’re going on the list (yes, there’s an actual list on Evernote, I’m not just saying it to be polite).

Ibogaine is really hard to come by here. My boyfriend has tried it, but I don’t think I can get it for this occasion. Naltrexone sounds interesting and could be helpful, but if I understood correctly, it’s used during the opioid usage, and it doesn’t much help with the cravings. In any case, I could ask my doctor.

But I have to say that my current medication is really effective. I’ve got the benzodiazepine Clonazepam (Rivatril), Clonidine (Catapresan) for controlling the cold/hot flushes, the NSAID Naproxen for aches and the most important of all: LYRICA aka Pregabalin. Lyrica is a miracle drug (disclaimer: for me), I could sing its’ praises all day long. It makes me feel like a human during the withdrawals, and it helps with my Aspergers.

I get these medications from a sort of free clinic place that helps anyone with any addiction. They have a policy that they don’t give Lyrica to anyone, but they made me an exception in my case because I made a really good case for why I need it. Thank god for Lyrica.

I also have a tiny bit of weed, which helps with withdrawals to a point, but I’m saving it for the right time.

Hot showers are like heaven. Tea is my favorite thing in the world; I have over dozen bags of tea (loose leaf, of course, I’m a bit of an elitist) and drink at least 3 huge cups every day, like 1,5 liters.

Walks in nature… I wish I could get some fresh air, but it’s cold outside (well, only like 0C, but I’m freezing right now anyway) and unfortunately I live in the city where actual nature is too far away for me It’s sad, because nature is the one place where I feel at home. I’m actually studying Enviromental Care and therefore spend a lot of time in the forests and the archipelago of Finland. I also love hiking and skiing in Lapland and otherwise spending time in the wilderness. I feel like I’m suffocating here in the city - I need to move away.

As far as friends go… I don’t have many. I have my boyfriend, who is the most amazing, supportive person, but my other friends live all over the world and I haven’t spoken to them in a while, so I don’t know who to talk to,

Breaking Bad rocks, and kinda made me cry at the end. Shameless I’ve seen a few episodes of, it looks great. Game of Thrones is an obvious idea, don’t know why I haven’t watched it yet.

Okay, I promise, with my hand on my heart, to watch some Doctor Who and Star Trek TNG. I know I’ll love them, it’s just hard to start.

I love Parks and Rec! I watched it up to season 3, I don’t know why I stopped, it’s such a funny show. And wow, all these great recommendations are flooding me. All going on the list. There can’t possibly be too many suggestions, because I’ve got a few weeks of nothing to do here. And life continues after that, too - I think. :neutral_face:

I’ve played earlier versions of Quake and I love it, but I don’t know if I’m up for some multiplayer games right now. I like the comfort of my single player games. I’ve been playing Bastion and Darksiders 2 and BIT.TRIP and The Binding of Isaac.

I’ll check those threads out, I’m really looking for new music to listen to. You can listen to Portishead and CocoRosie and Florence + The Machine and Nick Cave and Frozen’s Let It Go for so long, Those are great for a sort of melancholic new start -feeling, but maybe I need something more uplifting,

What, whyyy? I’ve watched Farscape and loved it to death. It’s kinda strange, but I think I could handle it during withdrawals even if it was all new to me.


I still love Quake! I just set up 1-3 on my new Linux system last week. OpenArena is great too, and usually has some people playing. If you like this sort of thing in gonzo multiplayer - Half-Life 2 Deathmatch can eat up weeks of your time. Very challenging and lots of fun.

edit: Oh yes, seeing what you said about multiplayer - nevermind, that’s what the heaps of add-on packs are for! The official ones, Nehara, Malice, Shrak, etc. Also I love the original Half-Life as having a similar feel, and lots of great mods for that as well, such as Zombie Panic and Sven Coop.

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Oh, the Stanley Parable is a great way to kill 2 hours. If you can get it on sale for under $5, well well worth it.

Yeah that’s what it does to me too. Here’s a good bass tab for Set Controls. Let me know if you need a link to a tab-reading guide, but basically you put your fretting finger on the fret number.

77 8 7, the heart of the sun

Best wishes gettin clean.


I used to be such an ace at Unreal Tournament ('99), I played in a clan and loved it. I also have Linux, but play most of my games on my boyfriends laptop which has Windows. Half-Life is another game I love.

I love playing with my friends (mostly my brother and sometimes my boyfriend if I can get him to play something that’s not a strategy game), but multiplayer with strangers is something I’ve become averse to. I just don’t like the people there, and being a woman, it’s hard to just be myself and use voice chat. Bad memories have kinda driven me away.

That looks awesome, I’ll put it on my wishlist.

I know how to read tabs, but thanks for the advice. :slight_smile: I’ll try to get my boyfriend to play guitar while I play bass, I think we would both benefit from that.

Most people probably won’t be reading these huge walls of text of mine. But I just want to say that I really wasn’t expecting such an encouraging, enthusiastic response and I just can’t thank you enough. You’ve made this hellish experience a little more bearable.

Here’s where I am right now: I’ve made a cocoon of my couch, where I have everything I need; a laptop (my boyfriends, but I ain’t using my tabletop computer in this state), Nintento DS, my Samsung Galaxy and an Xbox 360 controller (for games and Netflix).

I’m using a Snuggie (I got it during my American times), which is a bit embarrassing but I don’t care, it keeps me warm and let’s me do things easily. I’m cold all the time And if I put too much on, I’m hot. God it’s terrible. Fortunately Snuggie is there in the middle and keeps me relatively comfortable. I also have no appetite and keep forgetting to eat. Once the effects of Lyrica start to wear off, I get restless feet and can’t sleep. I sleep in 4-hour intervals, during the night or during the day, doesn’t matter since I have no daily rhythm anyway.

I’ve got huge cravings for opioids. Like, HUGE. I know I’m not gonna slip or relapse because it would be idiotic once I’vve started this process. I’m afraid that after 3-4 weeks, when I’m mostly clean (though still feeling shitty of course, cause it takes a long time for my opioid receptors to start producing the needed amount of natural opioids again), I’ll start using again. I’ve done this before and I was clean for like 1,5 months, but started again because actual life was too much to take for me without some chemical assistance. Opioid usage actual causes me no real problems, and that’s not the words of someone in denial, I’m really what you would call a “high-functioning addict”.

I really, really want something to do with my hands. The paracord and knitting ideas sound great, but I need the tools for that. Playing bass is also plausible, I just have a hard time picking up any instrument because I feel inadequate to play them. But once I start playing… damn, the music just takes me.

I love arts and crafts and have a lot of material for that; all kinds of decorative paper, embellishments, stickers, quality pens and little things I’ve collected like bottle corks and other little items. I’ve done scrapbooking, general crafty stuff and origami. I wonder what kind of project I could think of that would maybe be constructive and not make too much a mess.

While I’m at it, I must say: I SOOOO want RPG Maker VX Ace. I can do a bit of coding with Python but not enough to actually make a game, and being able to make all the games I’ve had in my mind would be amazing. I have a tablet so I could make my own graphics. Ohhh, RPG MAker VX Ace, why are you so expensive, I need you. :frowning:

Meanwhile, I’ll just play Goat Simulator to death. And maybe some FTL and To The Moon and The Binding of Isaac and other simple games right now.


I was terribly intimidated by the lengthy history of Doctor Who, but I finally started with the 2004 “New Who” (season with Christopher Eccleston) and was very hooked, at least by the seasons with him and Tennant. Matt Smith never did it for me and I haven’t yet watched Peter Capaldi. But it was fun to get on board something that’s been such a cultural touchstone for all the Brits I know. And I did rather like Torchwood also, though less so the 4th season on Starz.

I was also never a fan of Original Star Trek, having been terrified by an episode I saw at my aunt’s house when I was about age 5, but I did watch the movies when they started coming out. I absolutely adored The Next Generation though, and liked Deep Space Nine even better. I actually am thinking of doing a DS9 re-watch at some point.

On the completely opposite end of things, I’ve been enjoying various British and Australian shows that are period and lady-centric: Call the Midwife, Bletchley Circle, Miss Fisher’s Detective Agency, The House of Elliott, Bomb Girls. Lovely clothes, if you’re at all into that sort of thing, and fully passing the Bechdel test on the regular. (The miniseries adaptations of “Tipping the Velvet” and “Fingersmith” by Sarah Waters are also a treat, but the books are better and are definitely page-turners.)


Have you heard any Com Truise? I’ve been jamming on this one lately…(In Decay…don’t let the name fool you! )

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Speaking as a fan of only 30 years, Capaldi is brilliant, absolutely brilliant.


I promise to try. Honestly, Tom Baker and Tennant fascinate me the most, but Capaldi might be interesting too. I’ve only seen an episode here and there so I can’t claim to know anything about the franchise, but there’s at least some seasons available on our Netflix.

I’m certain I’ll love TNG. I’ve seen some episodes of it on TV and it looks great. I’ve watched Gene Roddenberry’s Andromeda, which is pretty similiar to Star Trek and especially TNG, so I’m sure I’ll like it. Maybe I’ll even watch DS9 after that.

[quote=“Elusis, post:31, topic:49505”]
On the completely opposite end of things, I’ve been enjoying various British and Australian shows that are period and lady-centric: Call the Midwife, Bletchley Circle, Miss Fisher’s Detective Agency, The House of Elliott, Bomb Girls. Lovely clothes, if you’re at all into that sort of thing, and fully passing the Bechdel test on the regular. (The miniseries adaptations of “Tipping the Velvet” and “Fingersmith” by Sarah Waters are also a treat, but the books are better and are definitely page-turners.)

Thruth to be told, I don’t really like period dramas/shows. The only exceptions has been the Canadian show Murdoch Mysteries, which I adore. I like shows with strong female characters, but more along the lines of Firefly and Spaced and Farscape and the animes Noir and Madlax and so on, but I’m not one for “girly” stuff (whatever that means).

I have to admit that I misspoke. I do love psychedelic music, but listening to Com Truise, as great as it sounds, it just doesn’t go well with my current state of mind. It reminds me of all those days and nights strung out on vrious drugs.

I’m looking for more the refreshing kind of new start, that doesn’t constantly remind me of my cravings.

But thanks for the suggestion anyway, I’ll keep that in mind for later listening!

I just found a bunch of great new music:


Emilie Autumn (for some needed girl power with all this rape victim-blaming going on that drains me dry)


Nick Cave

Also listening to Portishead and Florence + Machine and CocoRosie and such. And Frozen’s Let It Go several times a day, because it holds special meaning for me. Music really helps.


No sleepy time for me. I slept 2 hours at one point, but just can’t relax enough to sleep more. It’s apparently morning now anyway, so let’s call this the 6 am blues. I took my Lyrica dose earlier than I’m supposed just so I could get some rest (doesn’t even have to sleep, just rest), but I know it’s gonna bite me in the ass later because I always start feeling crappy towards the night when the medication starts wearing off. I really hope the doctor will up my dose, because I’m starting to develop a tolerance and this just isn’t helping enough anymore.

Maybe I should just browse the games that are on sale on Steam. That’s always fun, and I think many of the offers are ending soon anyway. I’m at the very least getting The Cat Lady. Maybe some good strategy game too.

I know I’m shamelessly using BB as my personal diary, but I need an outlet and you people are wonderful.

If anyone is bored enough to want to chat (by private message) to keep me cmpany, I’m all for it. But I won’t be offended if no one has the time to. :stuck_out_tongue:


I’m just leaving a relationship where I got shamed about playing guitar, and found myself unable to play when my partner was around. It’s a little bit different of a reason to pick it up, but when no one is around, who is there that might think you are inadequate? No one else can judge you at that point. Just grab that bass and play whatever. A song people might recognize or just whatever you’re feeling. (I have three guitars sitting across the room. I was playing one right before I found this thread.)

I do have a movie suggestion too. One of my favorite sick-day marathons is Terry Gilliam’s Brazil back-to-back. If you can get your hands on any of the multi-disc Brazil DVD sets, they have both Gilliam’s director’s cut and the “Love Conquers All” clusterfuck of an edit. Watching them back-to-back is both an overdose on Gilliam’s bizarre psychedelic filmography and an amazing lesson in film editing. I did it director’s cut first, and I think that works better for finding out just how much Sheinberg ruined his edit (there’s a lot more than just the ending that wrecked it, and I think having the version where it’s done right fresh in my head let me see that better).


I will try an episode in a few years. I am holding off on watching as the last few doctors stupid love interest stuff was turning the series into saved by the bell.


That sounds terrible. Did your partner shame you because s/he also played and thought of your playing as inferior?

My partner is an amazing jazz guitarist, I adore his playing. He’s been trying to get me to play piano and once even bass with him, but I feel so inadequate.I feel inadequate even when I’m alone. Story of my life really - logically, I know I’m very good at certain things, and yet a bigger part of my brain just keeps yelling “stop it, you suck, don’t even try”. I think they call that depression. Getting off opioids is really draining all my motivation (which is really what I used them for, plus the social aspect). Luckily my current medication gives me even a bit of motivation and a feeling of self-worth.

I’m gonna tell you something a bit sad, but please don’t take this the wrong way and judge my boyfriend too harshly, because everyone has their faults. Once, when I was high on one thing or another, I felt such a drive for playing music. I practiced a certain song for a couple of hours and then played and singed it to him and I felt like I did really good, as far as my own skills go. Once I was finished, all he said was “Drugs can make you feel like you’re really good at something”. I think he got the impression that I was showing off and being arrogant about my playing, but I really didn’t mean to - I was just so happy to get past my bad self-esteem and just play.

Anyway, now I feel bad for talking bad about my partner behind his back. He’s really a good guy, but I think he has self-esteem problems too. It’s just hard to see when he plays that guitar like a motherfucker. Even yesterday, when I told him about how someone in BB had suggested that I should play bass, he gave me ideas on how to go on about it. So I will try. Maybe even right now. At the very least once I see the doctor today and hopefully they will correct my medication so I don’t start succumbing into a sick, depressed mess.

Okay, I’m really embarassed. I love Terry Gilliam’s work, yet I have not seen Brazil. This blunder will promptly be taken care of.

On a totally but not at all related note, I so wish Gilliam would’ve gotten to do the Harry Potter movies. I love the book series (and not afraid to admit it!), but some of the movies were kind of meh. Gilliam would have been perfect for the feel of the series, at least the later movies (Prisoner of Azkaban and on). David Yates apparently payed a bit of homage to Brazil in Deathly Hallows Part 1, with the way the Death Eater -infiltrated Ministry of Magic was portrayed.


They’ve been making fun of that, quite a lot lately, if it makes you feel any better.

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It’s more because she was a non-musician. She was a bit jealous of time I spent with my band. She also found the repetitive bits of practice irritating. She’d gripe at me if I picked up my guitar to run scales while watching TV or if I spent 20 minutes playing the same riff over and over again to get it deep into muscle memory (musicians can be annoying roommates).

She’s not a bad person, and is still my friend.

That sure as hell sounds like depression. I wish I had great suggestions for dealing with it. (I don’t; I still struggle with it. Best thing I’ve managed to do for it is to learn to really let my friends support and love me, but that’s been a long hard journey, and I’m not done with it. Exercise helps a lot too, but has the problem of being something that depression will cause you to say “fuck it, not today” for weeks on end…)

I’ve been playing for about 25 years, and I spent many years not practicing and because I was a dumb kid, I took lessons for granted (I’m deeply grateful to my parents for them). After I stopped taking lessons, I realized that I did love it, and I missed it. That’s when I really started to play, and it took around six months of practicing 1-4 hours a day to get good. Take your Boyfriend’s advice on what to practice. Treat it like a meditation practice. Have a metronome clicking along and try to become one with the metronome and the bass line. But you can do it. I think you should. :smiley:

Also, as someone who is a bit more of an experienced player, it’s still fun to play with people of all skill levels. There’s just a magic in making music with other people. Even if it’s really simple music that’s not your normal thing (I’m a metal and blues guitarist who loves psychedelic prog rock and technical death metal. I had a blast playing Beetles songs with a choir over the holidays). So, even if he’s not playing at his normal level when he plays with you, if he’s like me, he’s still having a lot of fun. If he wants to play with you, do it.

A band mate once commented that writing music felt so much easier when he was drunk, but that when he’d play back his recordings later, most of it would be garbage. I think that’s what your boyfriend meant, and said it in a rough way. It sounds like a miscommunication rather than something that should make me feel bad about your boyfriend.

(I really only play when I’m sober; the way drugs, particularly alcohol, disrupt my motor control messes up my feeling of connectedness with my guitar. It’s a very personal thing. I judge no one on this.)

Excellent! No need to be embarrassed. Brazil is as good as anything he’s ever done, and possibly the best thing (I have a hard time picking favorites, but if pressed, Brazil is it).

OMG. That would have been amazing. If they’d given those movies to Gilliam and let him cut loose, I would have had an on-the-spot conversion from Harry Potter Grinch to TRUFAN. (I’m a bit of a Harry Potter grinch. I haven’t read the books, and I’ve only seen the first movie… They just didn’t grab me. It wasn’t the kind of fiction I needed at the time.)