Years ago I started sending in stories to sf magazines, and actually sold a couple. But the amount of ghosting by editors was incredible; send in something, and never hear back, even when sending a self-addressed stamped envelope (in pre-email-being-acceptable-to-editors). I eventually said to hell with it, and changed hobbies.
20 years ago I got a polite rejection post-card from Bungie that was really quite nice (I was in university, in another country, and they quite reasonably didn’t bother to interview me). That said, it’s the exception, not the rule.
I think the appropriateness of “ghosting” would depend a lot on how much the applicant and the company have invested in getting to this point. If it’s a minimum wage job and the interview lasted 30 minutes, then I don’t think that the employer has invested enough get huffy about applicants just not calling them back about an offer
A relationship between humans should be based on empathy. When you’re dealing with ferengi, deal like a ferengi.
Or in my case, apply for hundreds of jobs, never hear back from any of them, but then have a recruiter call you. My biggest takeaway from that job search was that you should never bother applying to a place where you don’t already know someone who works there to agitate for you, at least not in my business. The closest thing I got to an interview from application submissions outside of that was when, months down the line, I would receive a form rejection email.
Therein lies the problem; despite how some of us act, we are NOT Ferengi - we’re all still human… even those of us that demonstrate how very little ‘humanity’ they seem to have.
The ferengi in that statement means corporations I’m always as nice as I can be to people on a personal level, but I recognize that it’s their job to screw me over if it means more profit if they’re acting as the mouth for a company.
It doesn’t have to be, but yeah, most of the time it is. And there’s little they (the workers) can do about it except change employers, which isn’t usually practical. This is kind of my thing about HR. Yes, it works for the firm and more often than not, in our messed up system, the firm is the workers’ adversary. But the HR drones are also caught in the Matrix.
I’ve heard this called an Irish Goodbye. I have no idea why.
The version I’ve heard over the years is “taking French leave” (which also describes going AWOL from the military).
It reminds me of the opposite situation: someone doing a bridge-burning ragequit from a job and taking the opportunity to air his grievances. It can be truly hilarious. Here’s one of the best dramatisations of it:
YEP! SEEN IT!..it only happens to the companies/HR departments that truly deserve it!
And to be fair, I posted that not to go after anyone who’s ghosted on an interview, but to point out that a) the technology exists so that the corporate version doesn’t have to happen. It’s not that hard to do it right and b) when someone doesn’t show, it doesn’t inconvenience beyond having some extra free time. On an actual job offer, maybe, but you should have backup options if you did the process right and b) if you’re not interviewing more than one person, you’re doing it wrong. Get some coffee and move on to the next one.
The most important thing I have learned about relationships is to listen very carefully when they talk about how they screwed over the last partner. And if I don’t want that happening to me, don’t date them.
That does rather assume the company cares enough about you, prospective worker drone No. 248796, to remember that you didn’t turn up.
I suspect any company that is going to remember that sort of thing is also one that will be just as outraged at your one-line email telling them that you’ve thought about it and deciding to go to their competition instead.
A) Yes it does assume that. Could be false, as you imply, but why risk it.
B) My short email would be a simple, and honest: “Due to changing personal circumstances beyond my control I am no longer able to take up your kind offer of employment. I was very much looking forward to joining your company, and I thank you for your support and apologise for having to disappoint and inconvenience you in this way.” If they write back, THEN you ghost them, and they’ll only speculate why but not hold it against you. Appear (at least) to be professional at all times.
I agree, that would be my preference too.
I’m not sure I could write what you suggested though (unless it happened to be true of course).
I suspect some cases where people just don’t turn up may be due to similar reasons.
People just don’t know how to explain that they don’t want the job. After all, you’ve just spent a significant amount of time and effort pretending that you’ve always dreamed of working at Acme Widget Co. plc. and that your every waking minute is consumed with thoughts of how you can make Acme Widget Co plc a better and more profitable enterprise.
But it is true. All of it! The changing personal circumstances are the other job offer. I could not control them deciding to offer it to me. Until it arrived I really WAS looking forward to joining the original company. Prove otherwise.
Wild guess it is not meant as a compliment to the Irish.
Or the French.
This happened to me recently. We hired a new employee for a low-level position in our office. He seemed excited and worked hard his first day, but he never showed up for the second, or third, or fourth. We eventually found out that he didn’t like the hours we had offered him and took another job. This is fair enough, but he should have told us that before he started. And now, this person is blacklisted from our company, our parent company, and anyone else’s company who cares to listen.