"Hello, I'd like to add you to my professional network on Linkedin" is the new "Christ, what an asshole"

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Christ, what an entire company of sleazy, spammy, creepy assholes. I feel this is fairly close to the original! But it sure works.


So is LinkedIn the new MySpace?


LinkedIn has done as much for my career as that empty bottle of Glenfiddich over there in the recycle bin.


Linkedin is useful for finding former co-workers for job references. But that’s literally the only reason I’ve ever had to visit that site.


My own empty bottle of Glenfiddich was more useful, as I rinsed it out and put something else in it. After receiving the Nth email from a recruiter on LinkedIn who had clearly not read my profile and was just randomly spamming solicitations to everyone who used some (unknown but obviously useless) key words, I realized it was worse than useless.


No. It was never as popular as MySpace. Especially among high school aged children.


This is freaking eerie. I got a LinkedIn request from someone I don’t think I know at all – probably about the same time as this went to post.

Is this some new horror genre trick? Like, if I go to bed, am I going to die by the morning if I don’t accept the request?


Wait you get LinkedIn requests from people you do know? The requests I get are only from the Indian subcontinent, by people who seem to mistake me for an H1B candidate they’re trying to get shipped to the US by defrauding the immigration office. You know, by posting jobs with impossible requirements, like 20 years of Python experience, then having the specific candidates they want shipped to the states put in a key word on the application, so they can claim that no US citizen was found for the job… That kind of thing.


I’m still trying to figure out why Linkedin knows what it does, even though I’m horribly late to the party. Some of it seems obvious, some of it, well, why do the lazy HR folk need this anyway?

ETA: I suppose that confuses the topic. Yes, I’ve had corporate raiders try to friend me just so they could mine my social network. Yes. Christ, what an asshole.

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Sorry, but the caption isn’t actually funny in any of the three examples. Also, yes, LinkedIn is indeed useful for connecting to legitimate potential colleagues. It’s very easy to ignore the nonsense requests.


Linked in. Fine. You’re a distant workplace acquaintance and you want to see a quickly written resume from 3 years ago? Knock yourself out.

What bothers me is businesses acquaintances who want to follow me on Twitter and Facebook. Who expect me to be talking cutting edge IT and Seismology, when most of it is things like jokes about Eurovision contestants and Star Wars nerditry. It’s an invasion of my non-professional Internet life.

I’m going to have to create new Online Identities so I can relax and post trash in peace.


Come to think of it, this is the single best thing about LinkedIn.


The trick is to get all the commercial factoid-about-you dredgers to believe that this alternative id is (or is not, according to your requirements) the ‘real’ you.

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A perfect substitute for the original New Yorker captions!


OK, that’s actually funny.


I actually laughed at the third one… is this a first for a New Yorker cartoon?

There’s plenty of folks in America with 20 years of Python experience. The trick is finding the ones still alive.

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LinkedIn is constantly evolving the interface to make it easier and easier to unintentionally invite your entire address book and is lately even displaying people not already on the service on suggested-connection lists, to expedite the process of unintentionally annoying all your contacts.


He has some Python experience too: