Again that feature only works if you turn private messages off for EVERYONE.
That’s not a solution.
16 Likes
again…the whole title thing is directly related to how long you’ve been around… tenure being a time based thing. But sure if you want to disagree with my definition, fine.
1 Like
You’re clearly done listening, so I’m done talking here.
Have a nice day dude, and stay safe.
10 Likes
OK, let’s try this again:
Numerous times in the past, women on this forum have stated they find the escalation of intimacy from being privately messaged by someone they are already having issues with in a public thread makes them feel unsafe and thus is unwanted.
You must already understand that the idea of cornering a woman somewhere away from others is at best a dick move. That’s what this is, electronically speaking.
This is not to say that it is all women, or only women, who feel this way. But on this forum, there are enough women who are supported by enough men that we have felt safe asking for what we need. For every person who speaks up, there are many others who don’t feel able to express themselves so publicly, but their needs should be met, too.
Being cautious about taking things private is a good way to stay on the right side of things.
20 Likes
I was listening…and I concur on the very points you made. I am not sure how my disagreement on the idea/definition of “tenured” is someone a bone of contention; which is why I conceded it entirely.
And I have at times turned off DMs entirely…for all. I never stated I disagree it is not a full valid solution…it absolutely isn’t. Its just the solution we have, and I use it.
Hope your day is good. stay frosty.
1 Like
I was the one who questioned “tenured”. To me the term implies a special status that makes someone harder to get rid of. If I post something offensive, I am subject to being flagged just as hard and banned just as permanently as anyone else, despite my greybeard status or Star Trek rank.
Can we compromise on “seniority”?
8 Likes
not a hill I care to die on, I agree with your statement “I’m only as acceptable as my last post”.
4 Likes
I’d like to offer my own musings on badges, etc., based on my own experiences on the BBS, so take or discard them as you please. 
Badges are fun! They’re shiny, and sometimes they make me feel like I’ve done a heckin’ good post here and there. Trust levels do grant the occasional bonus, such as more Likes or Flags with stronger weight, and that’s nice. And I enjoy seeing my “rank” increase with every year I stick around.
But I don’t feel like badges or trust levels make me, or my posts, any more special than anyone else or their output. If anything, as I’ve gone up the ladder of trust levels, I feel like the more trust I get, the more responsibility I incur to the site and the community, to make sure I keep following the rules, to contribute useful (or at least amusing) content, to utilize my Flags according to the Guidelines and not merely to express my own whims or annoyances. I may have “seniority,” but that in and of itself adds nothing to what I’m trying to say. My posts need to stand or fall on their own merit.
Sometimes I fail. I’m only human. I’ve lost plenty of posts to the memory hole. My Flags aren’t always agreed with. I’ve even picked up a Flag myself here and there. (Which is fine-- if I cross the line, I should be called on it.) My takeaway from that is, I need to keep trying to communicate myself better. It isn’t always easy, especially when my temper strains at its leash… but I think it’s worth it. I love this site, I really enjoy being a member of the Commentariat here, and I want to try to give it value in return… even if it’s only a silly gif or joke here and there.
Again, I’m not trying to bash anybody or point fingers or say “you should do this…” It’s just my opinion, based on my experiences, so feel free to tl;dr. Even I don’t always take myself too seriously. 
27 Likes
Moderators being gamed is not the same thing as moderators being complicit.
Denouncing the game is a good move. You’ll get some points for that.
8 Likes
This, in a nutshell, describes my general criteria (backed up by Discourse’s own stats system) for choosing our TL4 Leaders. Thank you for your willingness to contribute to this community in such a positive way.
I’ve said this before but the only reason the BBS works as a community is the involvement of community members in the moderation process. It allows the community to take on a majority of the process, and leaves moderators in place to make sure hard lines aren’t crossed when needed.
12 Likes
(Sorry, late to the party here.)
The funny thing is many of us here who are slinging around guillotine memes are also against capital punishment. I bet that cognitive dissonance must make them really confused.
12 Likes
I appreciate your take on things, it feels much more optimistic than my own. I don’t think there’s any special bias going on here, the moderation seems pretty fair, pretty clear… all the way up until something I post gets flagged and I feel like a failure for not seeing it coming.
I don’t know that those flags have really taught me anything, other than maybe not to get too invested in an online forum. No matter how warm and fuzzy one topic may feel, there’s always going to be another topic where my opinion is going to be deeply unwelcome.
My struggle is to make that be about the imperfection of online forums in general, and not the collective character defects of any particular audience. My own character defects are between me and my therapist, its not realistic to expect this group to tolerate them.
5 Likes
I get ya. There have been times when I’ve had a post moderated when I’ve started writing a response, only to actually read what I’ve written and had that moment of “Oh, yeah, that was a little over the top. Good point.”
Having a post moderated (whether by the community or by the mod team) is a great time for self-awareness and introspection. It’s telling when people either lash out in the same thread or come here to write a manifesto about their own unappreciated brilliance.
15 Likes
Even when my takeaway is, “Oh, right, this community is so not ready to have this conversation”, that’s still useful information, like when a standup comedian has a joke fall flat. “Read the room!” Is what we might implore that guy.
3 Likes
As an aside for this topic, I have suggested the idea of a allow-list-only PM option to the Discourse folks, however I do not believe that is currently on the roadmap (yet?).
However. they were able to confirm that in addition to Ignored users being unable to PM you, muted users are also unable to do so. So if there are specific users you want to be permanently unable to PM you, you can add them there.
This is obviously not ideal (since you have to already know a given user needs to be on the list), but I wanted to point it out as an additional option to users who do not wish to disable PMs entirely but may also wish to disable PMs from certain users without Ignoring them (or having to re-add them periodically).
8 Likes
And it has always worked this way, too – so there has been a way, since the existence of this feature (I think at least 2 years now) to prevent any specific person from sending you PMs.
I’ll see if I can edit the copy to make this more clear.
5 Likes
There doesn’t seem to be a “Griping About the Discourse Interface” topic that hasn’t auto-closed,
so I’ll just mention here that
when we get a notification that a post has been moved, like this one
and then we click on it, the clicking does not take us to the post.
It takes us to the old topic where the post used to be.
IMO clicking this notification should instead take us to the new topic where the post currently is.
13 Likes
I’m not sure if this was corrected or not but I brought it up to the Discourse folks.
ETA: This was confirmed and is on the list for a bugfix. Thanks!
10 Likes
As long as we’re discussing interface changes, I notice when we click on the “in reply to” indicator in the upper-right corner of a post? Whatever that’s called? Anyway when we click on it it used to display the post being replied to, and also the post that post replied to. Now it’s only one level instead of two.
I liked it at two levels, I thought that was a good feature
7 Likes
