Guy interrupts sexing tortoises, slowest chase ever ensues

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Jeez, it’s not like Galapagos tortoises are an endangered species or anything. Leave them to get it on, why don’t you?

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What do you call turtle sex that takes 24 hours?

A quickie

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Most turtles have a neck that can suddenly extend and lash out like striking snake. If that guy had suddenly got his dick snapped off, well I’m not saying he would have deserved it, but it would have made this one of the most shared videos of all time.

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Here’s the soundtrack:

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Yeah, and now we know why!

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“What I’m gonna be is carefully sneak up on him, and jam my thumb in his butthole. Crikey!”

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“Gorgeous”

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