HAL's voice sounds unsettling because it's Canadian

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/04/09/hals-voice-sounds-unsettling.html

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So “I’m Sorry Dave” is a Canadian apology?

That makes so much more sense.

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I don’t think I sound unsettling.

Clive.

Do you find me unsettling?

I’m sorry if I unsettle you.

I’ll try not to unsettle you in the future.

I am glad we had this talk.

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“2001, eh? What’s it all aboot?”

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It’s true, Canadians live a little too close to the Uncanny Valley, but shouldn’t an actor be able to control their accent? By… acting for example?

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I love the Canadian accent. Literally just been in Vancouver.

Odd thing though. Noticed all manner of hyper-expensive cars all over the place. Bentaygas, Ferraris, Lambos, you name it.

Googled this. Local news claims mainland Chinese princlings, plus real estate surge. Taxi driver sadly pointed the finger at the drug trade.

And boy, are there ever drugs and druggies in Vancouver. Sad.

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I just think he sounds disturbing because he’s passive and cool regardless of the situation.

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I always thought that Douglas Rain’s reading was selected because he sounds slightly camp, thus filling Kubrick’s homophobia quota for this particular film.

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Imagine HAL as voiced by Matt Frewer.

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The true secret us Canadians hide from the world is this: When we say we’re sorry - we don’t really mean it. We’re a bunch of bastards.

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that’s why Canadians are well received in the United States as anchormen and reporters, because the vowels don’t give away the region they come from

Soory, I don’t know what you’re talking aboot.

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In other words, Canadian (although to be fair there was nothing in “2001” about the hockey playoffs).

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Vancouver used to be (and probably still is) the primary port for heroin importation into North America. Having said that, the reason there is such expensive real estate and so many luxury cars on the road is the massive amount of Chinese and other Asian money parked here, nothing to do with the drug trade per se. The wealthy send their kids to live and go to school or university because of easy to meet Canadian financial requirements for foreign immigrants.
Nobody notices a Lambo on the street in downtown Vancouver; there are literally hundreds of them registered. Almost all the drivers are under 25 and from Asia, with a significant percentage of the exotic cars having a green ‘N’ (New Driver) sticker on the back of the car.

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Shush!

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Oh. Sorry.

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The cars are the rolling equivalent of the see-through condos in Vancouver: 6-7-figure safety deposit boxes for money exfiltrated from China.

Unless things have changed, I believe Vancouver tries to concentrate the addicts and dealers in a no-enforcement “Hamsterdam”-style free zone. I remember a taxi ride past there, the roadside scene suddenly changing from pleasant Pacific Northwest suburban to post-apocalyptic Walking Dead and then back again after about 4 blocks.

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We don’t actually say “aboot”; that’s more Scots. What we say is “abowt”, like “ow”, or “ouch”, clipping the w at the end.

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I’ve met Canadians in BC who use Eh as a verbal tick. A few of them it was said in almost every sentence. I thought they were just screwing around.

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That would be the Ottawa Valley.

More like “aboat” in the Ottawa Valley and Northern Ontario. But the “oo” and “oa” sounds are really placemarkers for the secret Canadian vowel that we don’t talk ab__t, which is somewhere in between.

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We’re a bunch a passive aggressive bastards. Americans just don’t pick up on it. The supposed nonthreatening thing is just a cultural misunderstanding. We are the fifth column preparing to undermine American society hiding behind politesse. A bunch of sneaky passive aggressive bastards.

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True story: Canadian actor James Doohan had a difficult time getting any work after Star Trek because casting directors kept saying “oh, we don’t have any parts calling for a Scotsman.”

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