Happy spider mating season, everybody!

Probably because you shot 'em first, like you’re supposed to.

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That’s because you have to be really, really patient with them to get that to happen.

I had a freaky big one trapped for a minute or so . . .freaky big as in 'the knees were rubbing on my knuckles and the back end was sticking out while it was gnawing on the skin on the base of my thumb . . while waiting for my daughter to come back with something other than my hand to put it in.

(seriously kid, don’t overthink it!)

I’ve seen them fail spectacularly and just give up little pill bugs a fraction of their size and then move off to demolish a larger grasshopper or something.

I did have two funny little itchy spots, however. There’s no way my skin was close to punctured but apparently that venom can still be irritating.

Who’s a good mommy? You’re a good mommy! You’re a very, very patient mommy too!

I mean. . wow.

Seriously, mother of the year.

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