For now.
After spiderman comes to closure with the grief caused by the murder of his loved ones, he realizes his true passion is conservation and the ecology of insects. With fiery ambition he launches a charitable foundation that contracts with Sir David Attenborough for a series of nature documentaries on the arachnids and insects of the amazon basin.
Spiderman befriends a newly discovered species of jumping spider and nurses it back to health. However when the spider is healthy again it obeys its nature, and bites spiderman. As spiderman lay on the floor convulsing, dying, we see the eyes of the jumping spider. The spider says, âthank you, this is my natureâ.
Fade to black.
Well, part of me as a comic fan is happy. Of course we are going to see more flops in general. And I think the movies are having an affect on comics in general to be more ârealâ. Now I say that not having read a lot of newer comics, but just looking at new costume designs etc it seems colors in general are toned down and more realism. Which I guess is ok, but I was drawn to the bright colors and miss them.
Coincidentally enough, my current office is the cutting room wherein Nolan edited Interstellar, Inception, and his three Batman movies.
He keeps coming back here, so Iâll just pin a note to the ceiling next to his calling card.
Radioactive spider bites Peter Parker. He dies horribly, instantly. The spider, shocked at its newfound atomic venom powers and the great responsibility involved, decides to fight crime.
Thatâs awesome, and a smart looking office! (Really need to see InterstellarâŚ)
Cool! And Man-Spider, armed with the proportional self-doubt and awkwardness of a radioactive American teenager, promptly trips over his own web and falls beneath a passing science teacherâs penny-loafer.
Really donât.
I donât mind so much, apart from these being boring choices. Comics which I was never interested to read anyway. The tropes of superheroes might be new to cinema, but theyâre already rather staid in comics.
Whereâs my movie of âReid Fleming: Worldâs Toughest Milkmanâ which has been talked about for 25 years?
Thanks. Iâm gonna miss that office. (My showâs lease expires in a couple weeks, and Iâll be moving across the lot to an upstairs office in a ten-year-old fake tract home in âWarner Villageâ instead of the fashionably old and quaintly-gardened end of the lot. Oh, well).
Iâll admit to being interested in a bunch of these. Even Ant Man, but thatâs mostly because I kinda have a bit of a man crush on Paul Rudd. Also, because of this:
I was also super excited to see theyâre making a Gambit movie, but I have to admit I am less excited after reading that Channing Tatum is going to be Gambit.
Working title:
Fur-Bidden Love
The romantic story of Jeff, a man who falls erotically in love with his pet house cat Mr. Mittens, and they day he was bitten by a radioactive feline and was transformed into a Were-House Cat! (Cue jokes about people being confused and thinking it is Warehouse Cat).
Will Jeff win the love and affection of Mr. Mittens? Can he stop the rampaging gang of radioactive kittens? Will he ever find peace with his new found super powers as⌠Were-House Cat Man!?
He befriends the entire newly discovered species? So, some sort of hive-mind (despite spiders not living in hives, WHATEVS) kinda thing? Emergent intelligence? But during the convalescence the network breaks down, and the individual spidersâ natures assert themselves, causing the bite(s)?
Crazy, convoluted, and cold, man. As in cold hard box-office cash!!!
Bah, toughest milkman my arse. You need to have a word with Pat Mustard.
I still like Mystery Men, and would enjoy another film, particularly a real Flaming Carrot movie.
Ultimate Daredevil
In this universe Daredevil can see with his eyes, but canât see with his heart. After a series of disastrous relationships he finally moves to a small town in Mississippi after taking a job as a social worker. He desperately wanted this job so he could feel again, after being betrayed by his cold, alcoholic mother.
He falls in love with a local lady and befriends the underprivileged children at the decrepit school. And during a trust building exercise with his kids, he accidentally trips over a cliff to his death.
His final thoughts are, as he is falling with closed eyes, âfinally I have lived. Finallyâ
Cue amazing grace with a gospel choir.
I am guilty of not having watched Father Ted, which I entirely should do. But reading about Speed 3, it sounds very much like Reid Fleming, indeed - except that Mustard is not bald.
Definitely! I find comics (and comics movies) a better venue for pop surrealism than exploring âheroismâ.
I recently started reading my first western comic in a long while, Grant Morrisonâs run of âAnimal Manâ, which is getting interesting.
Ice World Wolverine
A trucker, who goes by the handle James Taylor,and his truaty 18 Wheeler Wolverine are regulars in the cold inhospitable northern Canada. They are a veritable lifeline between modern convenience and the remote villages of the north.
One night with the Aurora cutting out remote communication Wolverine breaks its front axle. With no help on the way and noone to signal, James Taylor sets up a camp and a fire, and breaks open a bottle of Jim Beam ⢠to keep warm.
Over the next two and a half hours we hear him talk about his estranged wife, the daughter he never met, the pride he feels helping these villages, and the despair that constant rejection and isolation make him feel.
At midnight, after a long soliloquy about immortality, James Taylor takes his own life, just as the blue flashing lights of a patrol car with his wife and daughter approach.
Wolverine can be seen with defrosted, melted drops of snow on its headlights.
Cue classic aerosmith.
In the future, movies will be known simply as the âsupes.â
âHey, did you see the latest supe?â
âThat was the best supe yet!â
âIâm taking my girlfriend out for dinner and a supe this Saturday.â
âI tried to tell the kid to study engineering so she could get a real job, but she wouldnât listen. Now sheâs stuck with this worthless supe school degree and a mountain of student loan debt.â