Ninja Turtles (2014) Trailer


#1

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#2

The first person to bring me Michael Bay's head on a stick gets $1,000,000.


#3

I assume the turtles now have noses just so they have something to thumb at longtime fans.


#4

THOOOOOOM

lens flare


#5

And here I was worried it wouldn't be horrible enough. Glad to see those fears were groundless.


#6

So much blue and orange. Michael Bay is parodying himself now, I'm sure of it.

The truly disappointing part is this looks like it could be the best attempt at a ninja turtles movie yet. They never should have left the comic book pages.


#7

The worst part about this is how unnecessary it is. We already have the best possible TMNT movie, and no amount of added explosions and lens flare would make it better.

About the only good thing I can say about the trailer is that at least the turtles are color coded so we have a chance of understanding who is fighting what in the fight scenes, unlike all of the Transformers movies. Then again, the fight scene in the trailer was incomprehensible so maybe not.


#8

This just makes me inexplicably sad. Nothing in particular, just this nagging sad feeling, welling up from deep down somewhere.


#9

It's amazing that they advertise the Michael Bay name. Like it's a good thing.


#10

If anyone needs me, I'll be here:


#11

Double plus ungood.

@jandrese I dunno...I have a soft spot in my shell for the 3rd movie...


#12

Michael Bay should just sell us replicas of his cock. That way we can just stay home and rape ourselves and our childhoods and save some time and money in the long run. Also, I think the physical consequences will be easier to deal with then the physiological ones.

These will always be my Turtles:


#13

Shoulda been in black and white.


#14

What I find most incredible is how utterly wrong the tone is. TMNT has always had a lighthearted touch. The turtles are just teenagers and they like screwing around with each other. They fight ninjas because that's what ninjas do. Their origin story is a goofy accident, and they're only ninjas because their caretaker was a dojo sensei and that's all he knows.

Now they're bio-engineered purpose built heroes or something, and Shredder is going to be some CEO of bio-engineer hero corp. Oh, and there is a military vehicle in there, because Michael Bay is BFFs with the Army.

I guess it's possible the trailer is deceptive. I'm guessing the original TMNT trailer didn't talk much about the Casey/April love subplot and Leo finding his way and everything. But this is Michael Bay and I have low expectations.


#15

The depressing thing is there's a pretty funny joke close to the end of the trailer, the sort of humor that always comes to mind when I think of TMNT. It just lacked the lighthearted touch that I always associate with TMNT. And it was ruined by everything that came before and after.

Still, the fact that it has a halfway decent three seconds puts it three seconds ahead of a lot of other Michael Bay films.


#16

did you not notice what the turtle's heads now look like?


#18

< Don_LaFontaine_voice >
In a world where a generation has passed,
A world where there are no more true heroes.

One man dares to profane all that was once innocent and fun.

One man destroys childhoods. Childhoods of those who remember.
Childhoods of those too young to know better.

From the darkest recesses of Hollywood comes that man.
We know him as Michael Bay.
< /Don_LaFontaine_voice >


#19

I came here to comment on the trailer for Spiderman. Is this the right place?


#20

Anyone else think they look quite a bit like one of the trolls from The Hobbit?


#21

". . .and probably is the best possible Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie." That's Roger Ebert on the original TMNT movie, the man knew what he was talking about. I'm hoping he'll thrust a decomposing fist from his grave to give this Michael Bay travesty a bony thumbs down.