How have they breached me? Let me count the ways

Got this email from Zappos:

You are receiving this email because you were a Zappos customer in January 2012. As such, we are writing to inform you that a resolution has been reached in the class action lawsuit filed because of the data breach that occurred during that time.

Important additional information is below, but the short version is that you are getting a 10%-off discount code to use on an order placed before the end of year. You may also transfer the code to someone else

I bet Equifax is really jealous they couldn’t get off this easy. I’m gonna make them send my my 5 cent check to frame.

I’ve also been breached by two medical providers. One of them is supposed to send me a check for 50 bucks, and the other one is pretending nothing happened worth worrying about.

I should just starting walking around wearing a sandwich board with all of my pertinent info on it.

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