[Edit: Meanta post this to PM: feel free to skip/ignore. Wonāt delete again as that messes up threads where there are responses, but mods are quite welcome to, as this is kinda offtopic.]
Iām sorry you feel that way. I disagreed with you in another thread, yes. Nothing personal.
Fair enough, sorry I took it that way, then, and thanks for not getting personal
What I am saying is that you have an exeperience which I respect.
But you also seem to dismiss other peoples experiences because
you didnāt have them or canāt imagine them. Thatās sort of a lack of empathy.
Ah, I see where you came from with that empathy thing now, then: I thought you were referring to the flags thread!
Though, thatās another good argument for the importance of improving my empathy: Posting one-liners gives me less chance to think about how people will interpret and respond, but I should take that time anyway, before posting them.
Hindsight says, mentioning TPP in the flags thread was raining-on-parade, so couldnāt get agreement even from people who feel TPP is important. When posting, for some reason I expected agreement from others who had a fiddling-while-Rome-burns sense of impending doom about TPP. Foolish, unempathic, and positively tone-deaf!
And then I made it worse by digging in my heels and doubling down, rather than apologizing for tone-deafness. Tchah.
Also, you made one very broad argument up there, which I did challenge.
At which time you āclarifiedā by adding several additional points of context
as though it were ME not getting your entire context the first time around,
when you didnāt offer it.
So no, nothing personal. But maybe donāt expect anyone else to mindread,
including yourself. Thatās just fighty. Thanks!
Put that way, and not as an attack on meā¦ eh, you make some damn good points. Well, bugger
Part of that is, yeah, I was assuming that if you were responding on it, you probably knew MORE than me on the topic, and what you knew conflicted with my feeble Googlings and reading: so I laid out in more detail what I knew and why I feel itās bunk, expecting you to then respond āWell, youāre a dribbling idiot who canāt even google āsecond sleepā [or somesuch term], because thereās some evidence that shows youāre wrong in the FIRST HIT! [link to jfgi.com]ā
But then Iād probably just have shown the other behavior youāve told me off for: Iād have moved the goalposts.
Not deliberately, but as I learn more (or just think more about something) my opinion develops, and I usually donāt think to say, though I really ought to, āEh, youāre right on that, so Iāve changed my mind on Y, I still donāt agree with you, but think itās probably more such-n-such than so-n-so, now.ā
Instead, I expect people to mindread (again!) and I just say āYeah, but Y is such-n-such.ā ā¦which leaves me WIDE open to a pasted quote where I say Y is so-n-so, and a (legitimate!) accusation of inconsistency and goalpost-moving.
So, yeah, youāre right. I need to:
- not assume that people have more knowledge than I do about stuff, and
- not assume that others are following where my mind went, when I read their response.
OK, Iāll try. No promises Iāll be instantly perfect. Iāll continue to suck, Iām sure youāll continue to call me on it, and hopefully Iāll get better at it over time!
Meantime, Iāll go back and check my posts, see if they can be salvaged with some edits. Not sure I should touch my flags posts though, I donāt think I can fix them without just pissing more people off. Not sure even an apology can fix that one, nowā¦
[Edit: previous posts arenāt editable. Well, balls. Undeleted my previous deleted post, for thread consistency.]