Oh Christ, yes. It needs some savage deconstruction in popular narrative media, until it dies horribly. Every single book, television show and movie that threatens to fall into that trope needs to be written to destroy it, instead. It should be a damn law.
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Technically, the rat kissed her by proxy, yes?
not able to fact-check this right now
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I’d love to see a take on it where a guy who clearly sees himself as the ‘virtuous hero questing for true love’ (like nearly all self-identified “nice guys” seem to) finds out he’s actually a monstrous, self-absorbed asshole whose every attempt to ‘endear’ his love interest only drives her even farther away, and in the end his obsession is his complete undoing.
You are correct, but regardless, it’s still that shame, shitty gaslighting trope; “Don’t fight it; you know this is what you really want.”
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Don’t you have anything better to do
I wish that someone could hug you
Must be lonely
Being angry, feeling over-looked
You sit alone at home in the darkness
With all the pent-up rage that you harness
I’m real sorry
'Bout whatever happened to you
I wanna walk through the park in the dark
Men are scared that women will laugh at them
I wanna walk through the park in the dark
Women are scared that men will kill them
I hold my keys
Between my fingers
He said “I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup
And spit out better words than you”
But you didn’t
Man, you’re kidding yourself if you think
The world revolves around you
You know you got lots to give
And so many options
I’m real sorry
'Bout whatever happened to you
I wanna walk through the park in the dark
Men are scared that women will laugh at them
I wanna walk through the park in the dark
Women are scared that men will kill them
I hold my keys
Between my fingers
I wanna walk through the park in the dark
Men are scared that women will laugh at them
I wanna walk through the park in the dark
Women are scared that men will kill them
I hold my keys
Between my fingers
Go on, tell me
You’re just kidding
He said, she said
Nameless, faceless
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Thank you for bringing this song into my life! It wasn’t even on my radar.
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The Black Mirror episode “USS Callister” does something similar with the “nerdy guy pining for the hot girl sure to come around eventually” trope.
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Good on them.
I still have yet to return to Black Mirror despite all the acclaim; that pilot may have ruined me for the series permanently, despite the fact that I know each ep is a stand alone story.
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Yep. Also more narratives where we just get to see that behavior from the point of view of another person. Not just as horror movies, but more “hey look, that person is really being an asshole.” It needs to be de-romanticized and de-normalized in every possible way.
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I was almost going to say, In the Company of Men, but kind of de-evolves with no clear resolution. His is more breakdown than correction.
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A kind of “what they think I do vs. what I really do” narrative?
I’d totally watch something like that.
Also while we’re on the subject of the normalization of obsessive stalker behavior, may I present my a beloved ballad that’s actually creepy as hell if you pay attention to the lyrics.
Each day through my window, I watch her as she passes by
I say to myself “you’re such a lucky guy”
To have a girl like her is truly a dream come true
Out of all the fellows in the world she belongs to meBut it was just my imagination
Runnin’ away with me
It was just my imagination runnin’ away with meSoon… soon we’ll be married and raise a family (oh yeah)
A cozy little home out in the country with two children maybe three
I tell you I can visualize it all
This couldn’t be a dream for too real it all seemsBut it was just my imagination once again runnin’ way with me
Tell you it was just my imagination runnin’ away with meEvery night on my knees I pray, dear Lord, hear my plea
Don’t ever let another take her love from me or I would surely die
Her love is heavenly, when her arms enfold me
I hear a tender rhapsody, but in reality she doesn’t even know me
Now, I love me some Temps, but that whole idea is some complete bullshit; he’s not “in love” with the woman in question, he’s obsessing over someone he’s never even spoken to.
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*Spoiler Alert
Didn’t turn out like a Happy Ever After, did it?
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It was great the first season and steadily declined. The Callister was the only episode of last season that had any of the heft of the first.
Edit to add: Decline isn’t the right word. The first season was very powerful and explored a lot of ideas about modern culture in a way that was both believable and outrageous. The second season lost a bit of the fire, but was still good. Last season was crap, except for The Callister.
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I guess it was (spoiler) about as close to a happy ending as Black Mirror gets, just not for the nerdy guy.
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The “San Junipero” episode was another one with a reasonably happy ending, even though the main characters both died.
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True - I loved that episode; sure did put a little heart into a very dark and scary season.
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The “crushing on someone unattainable” theme shows up in pop tunes of the time a lot. I don’t know if it qualifies as stalking if it’s all in someone’s head.
And teenage girls have been known to fantasize too. 
Speaking of the Temptations, the title here sounds creepy, but since Diana Ross gives as good as she gets, I don’t know where to place it.
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Watching her daily, planning out their lives even though they never met; it’s close enough for government work to me.
May I now present the Girl From Ipanema, a famous song about two pervy old dudes objectifying and salivating over a much younger woman whom they will never have:
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Those aren’t played as romantic. Misery is depicted as psychological horror and Fatal Attraction presents the femme fatale trope (which is sexist stereotype of women in its own way). Simply put, aggressive male protagonists are routinely presented as romantic, while aggressive female protagonists are routinely presented either as mentally unstable or predatory.
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See above. From the beginning, it was meant as a deconstruction of this trope.
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