Oh, it’s my fault. I say things all the time that some people just don’t follow. I mean, I could dumb down everything and hand out eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with circles
and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining everything. But I don’t, so it’s all my fault…
Refusing to respect someone’s boundaries turns an attractive person ugly pretty quickly.
If the attraction is mutual, there is no need for persistence.
What are the rules of propriety and etiquette to be adhered to in this case?
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A more recent example:
A parody of one of his other songs:
Young Blood?
A crazy stop, she was the top
I tried to follow her all the way home
Things went bad, I met her dad
He said, “You’d better leave my daughter alone”
Ow!
Or there’s always Run for your Life if you’re looking for a more explicitly threatening stalker.
You Belong With Me is also fairly stalker-y, or at least obsessive.
ETA: Two real-life examples of extreme stalking over the past fortnight:
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Like Charlie and the Waitress from It’s Always Sunny? Well, he never has the moment of self reflection, but that’s because its Charlie. Their relationship is a parody of this trope and a good example of how creepy and sad it is in real life.
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Waiting patiently in the elevator, as SWAT begins to close in?
I don’t watch that show, so the reference is lost on me; sorry.
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Movies are a medium for storytelling. Stories shape us.
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Kate Miller-Heidke (a true love of mine) did an overt stalker song called I’ll Change Your Mind. The warning of violence at the start of the song is true, but it only appears in the final few seconds.
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I remember 1st grade I first thought about this through this song:
And even then it was fucking up my little brain, even while I had nagging doubts. The girl goes to the guy who loves her the most? Uh, ok. What about which one she wants? Even then it struck me that it was weird to base your choice on who likes you rather than who you like.
And that doesn’t even take into account the bizarreness of judging quantities of love, as if that is a meaningful thing. Which leads to The Grand Gesture, which mistakes quantity for quality.
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Ooh, that reminds me, I can’t believe I didn’t think of earlier, as I do think it’s a great song even while being creepy af. And it even comes with a choice of gender:
(original video, which for some reason has been scrubbed from youtube, hier:)
http://www.metrolyrics.com/gonna-get-close-to-you-queensryche-ml-video-o4a.html
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Probably not, But courtship can be like haiku, where one can find freedom within the restrictions of the form.
I am not sure that propriety and etiquette in courtship necessarily have to restrict women’s free agency. I was thinking more in terms of the rules that would let a young man know what sort of approach is acceptable.
Of course, I am addressing this from a somewhat anachronistic position. My mother kept her copy of Emily Post handy always, And I was sent to schools where manners were insisted upon. I find that knowing the rules, and following them, can often be much less stressful than just improvising everything.
Obviously it will not solve every problem.
" A young man may go to see a young girl as often as he feels inclined and she cares to receive him. If she continually asks to be excused, or shows him scant attention when he is talking to her, or in any other way indicates that he annoys or bores her, his visits should cease." -Emily Post, 1922.
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Yup. Not even that good a movie IMHO.
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(Extra creepy in minor key)
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Right now where? Saudi Arabia? Mosuo? Armenia? Palawan?
Women’s rights are unequally distributed and historically always have been.
Heresy.
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I was pointing out how nonsensical the idea “nobody teaches chivalry anymore” is in regards to respecting the free agency of women. To hold the idea that things were better in The Good Old Days requires a degree of ignorance or cognitive dissonance.
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Gotcha & do agree (especially in the context of “chivalry”, which was a mythical era even when it was happening.)
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This doesn’t help young people at all when intitiating relationships.
Women don’t “recieve” gentleman visitors. Showing up at someone’s house isn’t really cool unless you have a reason, nor would it be understood as an intent to court.
Edited to add:
People today have to gauge the other’s interest at work, school, or social events, which is complicated by the exisring relationships in those places that require a civil and cooperative enviornment.
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