Miserable bastiches. I’ve seen all this before, at a couple of different colleges who decided sports was everything, and the rest should be sacrificed for it.
In fact, it was very well covered by Rocky & Bullwinkle, in the “Wossamotta U” football story, a short continuity that was later easily adapted into a half-hour cartoon for TV. When someone asks where they’ll get the money for some sports-related activity, the answer from above is to simply fire another English teacher (while Bullwinkle is set upon a demanding course of study that includes basket weaving and “Dick and Jane at the Sea Shore”). In short, it was a documentary.