A long while ago, I had business cards printed up that simply said my name, and below that, “Enthusiast”.
Plus some contact info on the back, of course.
I should make some more of those!
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“Wait, when you say ‘what do you do?’, are you referring to the three trillion cells agreeing to be me for a little while? Sorry, didn’t catch your name…”
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About 180
The first time I participated in Career Day at my kids’ school, the other parents included a pastry chef, and a comic book artist & publisher. I remember thinking “why did I even bother?”
I was at least able to describe working at NASA (at, not quite for NASA) and what we (in general) do there, but my specific job isn’t too glamorous… (“I work with computers”)
ETA:
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“What Tommy does.” 
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I was unable to persuade my manager that the job title on my business card should be “Adventurer”. Engineering can be such a conservative profession.
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“In meetings and in court, you wear a carefully chosen suit because you want to project an exact professionalism. What are you wearing on the Internet?”
Lord Flashheart: “Why don’t you ask what I don’t do, it’ll be shorter! Woof! Woof!”
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So, what do you do?
I used to go with “I pilot my cubicle against the threats of existential terror”, but it never really got me anywhere.
Nothing’s ever really gotten me anywhere. 
(Maybe you could say the threats of existential terror are enjoying a resurgence of late.)
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It’s a good alternative. When meeting new people, I generally ask “what do you do for fun?”
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I’d think that Graphic Literature Colorist would also have worked. 
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