How to combat manspreading on the subway - sit on the offender

Expansive postures like spreading legs and arms, wide stances and otherwise open comfortable positions are body language displays of “power” and “ownership”.

The position of this woman, a doctor, is exactly in line with the feeling and text of the ad, “You, powered by IBM.”

Also, it’s pretty difficult to balance on a backless stool without using your legs to stabalize. I’ve seen many different doctors seated this way on wheeled stools.

The question of why men assume positions like these in public spaces while women generally don’t, is something else entirely.

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I think this part of your post answers the question :slight_smile:

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I agree 100% that it’s mostly men. Case in point from my shuttle to the airport this morning:

What you can’t see is 3 of us comfortably seated on the facing bench of the same size. These guys stoutly refused to look up from their screens as the bus got more and more crowded. We 3 made eye contact and offered to scotch together for boarding passengers.
I wasn’t trying to be a manspread apologist at all, just trying to, as Vonnegut said, call a spade a spade and let the cards fall where they may. The spread isn’t the big problem, the lack of situational awareness and appropriate response is. I see now writing that how lame it is as a communications bullet point :wink:

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Okay, that’s certainly true, manspreading is but one manifestation of a bigger masculine problem. Mansplaining is another (and similar) one.

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Speaking of mansplaining, do you know where mansplainers get their water?

From a, “well, actually…”

Hope this comes across in writing because it’s hilarious spoken.

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Only women? In Netherland, bags on the seat is not uncommon for any gender. I do it too with my backpack, though I put it on my lap or on the ground when the train is crowded.

Recently in a crowded train I saw a tourist couple with their backpacks on the two seats opposite them. I guess it’s uncomfortable to take a big backpack on your lap, but those seats really should have been made available for other people.

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I am a proponent of this. Assholes don’t learn kinda by definition. Why take on the work (and risk) of trying to teach 'em? If they’re not assholes, then just saying something polite works.

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My own experience ist that manspreading is really just a dominance thing. Even the apologists are not as guilty as they think they are, as it’s almost always guys who feel the need to demonstrate their dominance. And that’s why little things like sitting on the lap when the manspreader refuses to keep to just one seat work, because it turns that display of dominance into the target of ridicule.

I also have to admit that I don’t see it all that much in Munich, and those rare practicioners do seem to be oozing all sorts of testosterone-fuelled dominance signals like B movie charicatures.

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“How to combat manspreading on the subway”…

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And deform my hoop skirt? As if!

But when otherwise attired, they have either been very quiet and still with shock, or slipped out from under me and squirmed away.

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I don’t know if this was a man or a woman, but they just took “inconsiderate human” to level 9000.

Can’t make it preview - click to see.

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Did anyone link this yet? Seems eerily… relevant.

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some quick background on that phrase:

  1. originally referred to a field implement ( in literal ancient history. )
  2. became associated with cards around the same time as it became a term for people with black skin, both in relatively recent history.
  3. the new usage first had a neutral sense, but it quickly became a slur.

lots of people don’t know the negative connotations, but lots of others do. it might be best to avoid it altogether because of the weight it has.

( fwiw: vonnegut is great. maybe his use of it shows how privilege lets even a politically-minded and thoughtful writer be oblivious. kind of like i’m sure there are manspreaders out there who haven’t ever thought about their… spreading. ick. )

this npr code-switch piece has a good summary about the phrase.

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How do you think that women sit? Are you saying that you are too weak/lazy/inconsiderate to behave decently?

Threads like this make me glad I live in a more rural area. I will make one observation, I wager that for some manspreaders it is physically difficult to sit neat and proper. I know it is certainly difficult for me, but I’ve worked in production environments for years and standing isn’t much of an issue.

This is just me, but I bet it applies to a decent majority of these guys. In a sitting position with you knees hip height or higher, your pelvis rotated forward so you lower back isn’t rolled out, and your feet shoulder width apart - now lean forward and without using your hands stand up…I can not. Hell just sitting like that my inner thighs are stretched like a violin string. Much less ask me to put my feet and knees together…it won’t happen unless my spine rolls back.

I’m not making excuses for this - I know I have horrible flexibility, hence why I’d stand. You all are right that these guys are being obtuse and selfish, but at least I think some manspreading is because of our lifestyle and lack of exercise.

That’s a good ‘rule of thumb’ - another phrase I’ve been corrected for using.

Heck, people tell me I shouldn’t carry an american flag at a protest and I always say the same thing.

I’m not going to comply with their interpretation of me. If someone wants to write me off for the possible implications of my words, while ignoring my actions, so be it.

I totally didn’t and I surely will! Thank you for telling me.

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