I’m talking about the specific person you commented on. We know his condition because he mentioned it. I am not (ETA talking about) your generic person taking up too much space.
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Ok so for that specific person, he should do one of the following then if he can’t sit like a normal person in society
- Sit at the front where there are usually spots for elderly, handicap and other needs passengers
- realize that because of what ever causes this, when the car gets full he needs to buck up and take it, or stand (as he claims he does)
- At least let the people siting next to him know that he will be flexing his legs a bunch because he is a whiny little baby who cant share his public space
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Everybody stop with the excluded middle crap.
Yes, refusing to adjust to let someone sit down is all kinds of rude, and the man in the story deserved what he got. People need to shift to make room.
But it is not reasonable to ask me to endure screaming muscle cramps for half an hour to protect you from the horror of making leg contact with a stranger. I do my best not to grind my knees into people, but I would literally have to tie my legs together to painlessly keep from spreading a bit (that or stretch my legs out in the aisle, which is even ruder). Public transit requires pressing flesh sometimes. Everyone involved needs to learn to make reasonable accommodations.
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You honestly think this is about physically touching other riders?
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Not if he’s nice looking, and has a good job.
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I truly hope you never live in chronic pain from just sitting for a bit.
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If every time the train pulls up to a stop and people get on I pull my legs in to make space available for others, do you still hate me? I’m saying, is it purely about taking up space or is there an aesthetic thing as well?
I think being tall comes with more advantages than disadvantages overall, but nonetheless one of the disadvantages is that maybe 90% of everything that gets made is too small. My desk and chair at school. Buses and planes. Tables and benches are set too low and so are the handlebars on the public bikes. I hit my head on things a lot.
With all of that stooping and bending and having just enough room for your legs and not a fraction more while you sit for long periods at work or at dinner or on public transport, along with the basic physical considerations of being large and at the upper end of what the human frame has evolved to support, tall people have a lot of musculoskeletal problems. Personally, I have arthritis setting in a fair bit earlier than it does for most people. It starts with the back problems, then your knees start to go, then walking becomes a chore and you give up and your cardiovascular system packs in and I firmly believe that if you don’t take care of your muscles and your posture it can knock years off the end of your life. I’ve seen it happen and I’m hoping to avoid it with some basic precautions.
Part of that is spreading out and stretching when I get the chance. I have to take a train an hour either way to play sports sometimes. Sitting locked within the space allowed to me by a single seat after a ninety minute game can be pretty torturous. I get cramps and I worry I’ll end up with a strain or a tear. If I can get away with it without depriving anyone else of a seat then I’m going to make myself comfortable.
That turned into more of a rant than I intended. I don’t like it when people use being big as an excuse to take more than their fair share, and I think if people aren’t willing to make space for you then sitting on them is as good a way as any of putting them in their place. And I’m perfectly happy to cramp myself into a single space for a few stops if I have to and if I don’t like it I’ll stand. Public transport isn’t comfortable, I can deal with that. But I’m a bit unmoved if people are bothered because of how it looks.
That’s ok, isn’t it?
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Ha ha! Jokes on you! I’ve had arthritis in my knees since I was in my early 20s. Guess what? I ride the bus/train every day and don’t have a problem keeping my legs together when the bus is crowded so every seat can be utlitized properly. Hell, I even stand some days both ways, uphill, in my sisters shoes!
In part, yes. If you subscribe to the notion that spreading is only ever a conscious and deliberately selfish act, as many in this thread seem to, then letting your knees press against your seated neighbors is just as much a dominance play as the rest of it–and that’s not so.
If I sit on an empty bench with my legs spread, it’s my responsibility to watch the aisles and bring my knees together long enough for others to sit down, and to do my best to not crush my neighbors with my 6’2"-guy legs; I absolutely agree on that. But the idea that I’m just doing this for funsies is really annoying.
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You should write a book on how to be a He-Man, and not a whiny cry-baby.
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It is not selfish to sit in a seat on a bus and be comfortable when you are the only one in it. What is rude is NOT paying attention to when you are taking up both seats and NOT paying attention when asked to move over. I don’t think anyone here has an issue that your legs, arms and other body parts are going to be in contact with other riders when on a crowded bus.
When you share a seat next to someone, do as we all do: try to take up the minimum amount of space you need so we can all share the space equally and get to where we are going.
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Women have fairly different hip geometry than men; I would guess that might play a role. Social conditioning (“sit like a lady”) may be a factor as well, in the same way that, say, a typical Japanese person finds it much more comfortable to sit on the floor with legs crossed than a typical American, thanks to a lifetime of practice.
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Indeed, that’s all most reasonable passengers want; some basic consideration… and I say this as a person that rides an overcrowded subway 5 days a week.
You are a better person than I am;
I wish people’s own worst behaviors back upon them threefold, and I laugh long and hard whenever I see someone get their deserved comeuppance.
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That’s exactly what I try to do, and I’d call out any guy who did otherwise–the guy in the story included.
Right here in this thread, EthicalCannibal encouraged harassing guys who let their knees spread after their neighbors sit down. QuoriHunter decried people who spread their legs on an empty bench because it “brazenly displays the crotch.” You yourself told people to “buck up and take the pain”, and when Dustin Dopps mentioned that he has an actual medical condition, you basically called him a liar because your arthritis isn’t exactly the same. That’s what bothers me.
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Jess Christ folks. Sit down, read your kindle, and stop coddling your inner tyrant,
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For me, it’s the muscular effort of holding my knees together that’s painful. Akbar joked about belting your knees together, but I’ve literally resorted to that on long car trips where I had a whole passenger seat to myself, but my knee was pressed against a sharp corner of the center console. If there’s armrests holding my legs in place, that’s fine–ditto my neighbors’ knees! I do my best to accommodate other sitters, though; there’s no excuse not to pull together long enough for others to take a seat.
I don’t spread as wide as some of the sprawlers in the pictures (I suspect the worst offenders really are just being rude), so I can support a 13" laptop fine. An 11" might be uncomfortable.
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Is it so inconceivable that a person on public transit might just be, y’know, exhausted?
For the record, I don’t believe I interacted with Dustin at all. His response is very much in line with how I ride public transportation so I hardly see how I would be calling him a liar.
stop pushing your tired claims of privilege…
