Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/05/11/how-to-deal-with-a-narcissist.html
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Wouldn’t things like occasional recognition of a person’s achievements, giving compliments without mocking them, and paying attention just be good advice for dealing with people in general…?
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Well sure, but the article’s not about people in general, it’s about narcissists, who can be extremely difficult to deal with. Plus, their behavior does not normally make one want to react in the ways the article recommends (pretty much the opposite, actually).
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I was thinking exactly the same thing. All of the tips from the excerpt seem like basic good communication techniques, not limited to narcissists.
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The way I deal with narcissists at work is pretty much as far the opposite as can be. If anybody forces the organization to put their own personal problems ahead of the company or community, I consider it unprofessional at best, and sabotage at worst. Leave your magnificent personality at home, there isn’t anybody being paid to deal with it here.
Companies also have some responsibility - both to their charter as well as other employees - to avoid hiring people who’s immaturity is certain to be an obstacle to the goals and efforts of the organization. If they make clear that they prefer bullshit artists and self-centered types, then they would be trashing my reputation as well as their own, and need to let me go.
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Easier said than done if the NPD monster has authority.[quote=“popobawa4u, post:5, topic:100861”]
Companies also have some responsibility - both to their charter as well as other employees - to avoid hiring people who’s immaturity is certain to be an obstacle to the goals and efforts of the organization.
[/quote]
Makes sense, except that NPD demons can be very charming and likable, at first.
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If I tell him “you are the best narcissist of all time” would that be considered a compliment?
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I like to say that my Boss’s favorite song is “me me me”. Boy does he sing it often too.
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Just serve him “compliment sandwiches,” all day long!
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Oh, then I’d have to actually talk to him. No thanks…
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I pity anyone who has to deal with an NPD boss. After being stuck with a narcissist as a family member for decades I’d sooner quit a job than deal with one (I did fire a client who showed signs of narcissism, but not for that reason).
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Mollycoddling, I say!
Why, when I was young, I had to get up in the morning at ten o’clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad would kill us, and dance about on our graves singing “Hallelujah.”
But you try and tell the young people today that… and they won’t believe ya’.
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But the article seems to be about a certain flower that is one of the first to bloom in the spring.
Or, are all the cool kids dropping their T’s these days?
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Among the worst parts is how they so often get what they want or get away with treating others like crap simply because trying to take effectively corrective action is even more more trouble than the messes they make.
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As for management, it is important for leadership to set limits with narcissistic types and to stick to their consequences. For the Narcissus, the extreme behaviors that require forced intervention will usually be dramatic displays of anger or rule breaking, both of which can be potentially unsafe in the workplace. The Narcissus must know that loss of money, power, or status is at risk if he messes up again. It is important to be direct. For example, the Narcissus must clearly hear from a boss, legal, or HR that if he does not attend therapy or if he becomes enraged at work again, he will be subject to a demotion, will be moved to a less desirable office space, will lose income, or will lose the respect of someone admired. If such methods fail, the Narcissus is likely impossible, and should be removed from the office.
But what if you don’t have a sufficient number of votes to impeach?
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It’s referencing the mythological Greek hunter that the condition (narcissism) is named after. “He saw his own reflection in the water and fell in love with it, not realizing it was merely an image. Unable to leave the beauty of his reflection, Narcissus lost his will to live. He stared at his reflection until he died. Narcissus is the origin of the term narcissism, a fixation with oneself and one’s physical appearance and/or public perception.”
Otally.
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“Man Baby” is the new cool, ain’t ya heard?
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I get the reference. I guess I was taken off guard with the, sort-of “flowery” word usage.
Oh… now I get it… it is written in the language of self-help.
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fire them.
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