How to make fire bricks out of junk mail

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/07/23/how-to-make-fire-bricks-out-of.html

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I want to know more about that tub of PUBLIX brand Cream Cheese Icing that doesn’t require refrigeration.

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You can also just roll your mail up into logs and wrap them in an outer layer of newspaper. Takes less work and two fewer weeks til they’re ready to use.

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Dis-a-POINT-ed! I thought they were making FIREbricks:

Firebrick

image

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Free–assuming that your time isn’t worth anything.

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Worst case; you get to spend a few hours working with your hands and using powertools to create something useful from a portion of your household waste stream.

Best case; you get to do all the above, with your kids … and then you all get to make toasted marshmallows over the bricks you made together!

Oh the humanity! All those wasted hours!

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I just use my junk mail to start the charcoal for the grill. Otherwise, it’s used as ‘paper towels’.

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I think they make the “shiny stuff” by adding clay to the pulp.

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Yeah, I’ve heard off-and-on that it’s kaolin. So…if I pulp the junk mail, and mix it with the montmorillonite clay that Denverites call ‘garden soil’, I might be at least halfway to the firebricks I was hoping for. CITIZEN SCIENTIST!

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http://www.woolwinefire.com/?page_id=929

Seven things you should never burn in your fireplace—and why

Don’t burn colored paper. The inks used in wrapping paper, newspaper inserts, and magazines contain metals that can give off toxic fumes when burned.

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It’s just starting the charcoal. What I cook on the grill will kill me a lot faster than the inks.

Edit: The colored inks are less risky than they used to be:

Sciencing.com: Test ink newspapers

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(Not my pic. My yard has short, dead weeds)

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(1) Come on, that’s a patty, not a brick.

(2) I wouldn’t really classify the thick, glossy, colourful stuff as “paper”.

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Or you could use the pulp to make papier mache monsters and burn those instead - if they’re not too adorable.

(NB: It’s bad luck to burn alebrijes - don’t even THINK about doing that!)

https://www.google.com/search?q=alebrijes&tbm=isch

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“Hopeless. If only I’d paid attention in nursery art-class instead of spending my entire time manufacturing papier-mache willies to frighten Sarah Wallis.”
– Captain Edmund Blackadder

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Sounds pretty involved. You could just use it as-is to start a fire.

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Anyone know if inks in use for mass mailings are all switched over to tree-hugging safe-for-humans inks; or are any of the classics from when men were men and lead boosted octane ratings still around?

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Aren’t you familiar with conciliatory firebricks?

Unlike their refractory counterparts, who are frankly inflexible jerks; conciliatory firebricks seek compromise and common ground with heat, pressure, and chemical attack.

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Or use one of these

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I just spit out my coffee.

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Be careful about using anything with color. Toxic fumes may result.