How to make prison pizza

#1

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/09/12/how-to-make-prison-pizza.html

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#2

Of course it pairs well with

http://www.thesneeze.com/2005/steve-dont-eat-it-vol-8.php

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#3

Best crime deterrent I’ve ever seen. I’d never make it inside.

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#4

I have fowarded this video to Donald J. Trump for his future reference. Up next, can we have a “how to make prison Big Macs”?

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#5

The Big House can be hell a your innards’.

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#6

I’ve got to try this.

#7

I came here with the intention of saying something similar to this. Now I don’t have to.

So instead I offer my unfiltered running commentary. I haven’t seen any of his videos before.


“Ritz? What kind of coddling is going on in prisons? Getting all fancy up in there.”

“Is he playing the Wedding March while chopping up the ingredients? (checking) Yes. Yes he is. It must be the one bit of classical music that Sony hasn’t gotten around to licking and calling its own.”

“He handles a knife well… better than I do.”

“Baconopoly…”

“Back up, Lucy!”

“In this instance, you are wrong about the type of person watching your video. I’m more hamster than gangster.”

'I might be able to blend in with everything… ‘Ary-thing (chuckle)’:neutral_face:

“mushed crackers… (blargh)… I don’t… (blargh!)… I knew it was coming, but… ugh. It’s not the appearance, it’s the knowledge of what it is. I would have the same response watching someone eat a bug. While it’s a mental problem with me, I do appreciate the creativity.”

“Wedding March again as he rolls the ‘dough’.”

“More Wedding March as he adds the ingredients…”

“Huh. I did not know you could put a foiled backed chip bag in a microwave. Now I’m getting ideas that it would be better to have not gotten.”

“Lucy was not the dog I expected.”

“Whoah! Almost dumped it.”

“A little bit of Wedding March while cutting.”

Pickles were the only source of vegetable they had? WTF, prison? I was joking about the Ritz crackers.”

“Desperate times, I guess…”

“Close out with the Wedding March…”


Okay. Good to know. I hope I never have to put that knowledge to use.

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#8

Gangster Hamster… band name?

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#9

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#10

You’re gonna ask me to get you a toe, aren’t you.

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#11

I’ve seen examples of how to make Pruno, this looks sane and reasonable by comparison.

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#12

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#13

Nope, I want that guy’s prosthetic leg.

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#14

Exactly. I’d just rather not be in prison and order Marco’s Pizza.

#15

To be fair, I would expect that to be the attitude of most people that are in prison as well.

Plus, Marco’s is pretty good pizza.

#16

Er, pickles? Really??

#17

Being in New Haven, this is how I picture pizza in much of the rest of the country…

closed #18

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